Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Baxjanson
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived with her Mother on the edge of the deep, dark woods. On the other side of the woods lived the little girl's Grandmother, who loved her very much. He girl's Grandmother was very handy with crafts, and had made the little girl a sturdy little cape with a hood. She had dyed it a brilliant scarlet, and the little girl loved it so much that she wore it everywhere she went. Soon, the people in town were calling her 'Little Red Riding Hood' and would smile to see her skipping merrily along the streets. She was a kind and loving little girl, and everyone who met her loved her madly.
One day, she got news that her grandmother was ill in bed. She begged and pleaded her mother to let her bring a basket of nourishing goodies to her grandmother, so that she might get well. At last, her mother relented, and allowed her to go with the usual admonition to follow the path, and not tarry or talk to strangers. Little Red Riding Hood knew the path well, as she had walked it many times before.
This time, however, as she skipped along the path, she came across something unexpected. A sad, thin, mangy wolf who was so lean that his ribs could be seen beneath his fur lie panting in the road way. The little girl had grown up with everyone she met loving her, so she knew no caution. Instead, her heart went out to the sad beast.
"Hello, Mr. Wolf." She said cheerfully. "How are you this fine day?"
Now the wolf replied (as animals used to do, back in those days) "Not well at all, my dear. See my ribs? My pack has cast me out, and now I must surely starve this winter."
"What a very sad thing! I would give you some of my goodies here in my basket, but they are for my grandmother, who also lies ailing. I wish I could help you." Red replied.
The wolf looked sadly up at the little girl and responded, "I thank you for your kindness, my dear, but I fear they would do me little good - you see, I need to eat meat, not sweet cakes. But come - you are such a lovely and kind-hearted young lass that I would assist you. If you go down this path here, you will find a waterfall that catches the sunlight beautifully. And beside the waterfall is a wall covered with the largest, most lovely red roses you could ever hope to find. The scent of them is so sweet, why, it is almost as if they were magic."
"Magic roses! Why, such a thing would be perfect for my grandmother!" Red giggled as he clapped her hands together joyfully.
"Oh, no, no." The wolf interrupted. "Now that I think on it, they are too far away from the path - someone so young as you should stay close to the path, and not stray from it."
The little girl pouted and stomped her foot at the wily wolf. "I am not too young - why, you sound like my mother! I will go and find those magic roses, and give one to my Grandmother, so she may feel better. Good day!" And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed off into the deep dark woods.
Now the little girl did not know that wolves without a pack were dangerous - and ones on the verge of starvation doubly so. Furthermore, this wolf was cunning and clever. As soon as the scarlet cloak bobbed out of sight, he dashed off as fast as he could go, down the path, through the woods, and up to Grandmother's house. Without pausing, he leapt through the window onto the surprised grandmother, and with one snip-snap of his jaws, he ate her all up. Then, he wickedly dressed in the grandmother's nightgown, and lay in the bed.
Soon, Little Red Riding Hood came skipping up to the door, with her basket of goodies and a lovely bouquet of roses. She peeked in the door, and gleefully rushed to the bedside. "Grandmother! I have a surprise for you! Aren't they wonderful?"
"Yes, they are, my dear!" Replied the wolf, doing his best to sound like a grandmother. "Bring them closer, so that I may smell them, my dear."
Red leaned closer, but stopped as she noticed something she had never noticed before. "Why, grandmother - I have never noticed this before today, but what a large nose you have!"
The wolf batted his eyelashes and looked shy as he encouraged her 'Why, all the better to smell the lovely flowers you have brought me, my dear."
"And grandmother - what very large eyes you have." The little girl marveled as she leaned over the bed.
"Why, all the better to see you with, my dear." The wolf replied, grinning from ear to ear as the little girl came closer and and closer.
She stopped and a look of dread came over her face. "And... what a very large, wet mouth you have, Grandmother. With such sharp teeth."
"All the better to eat you with, my dear!" the wolf crowed triumphantly as he leapt from beneath the bedcovers and pounced on the little girl. And with a quick snip-snap of his jaws, he ate the little girl all up.
The End
One day, she got news that her grandmother was ill in bed. She begged and pleaded her mother to let her bring a basket of nourishing goodies to her grandmother, so that she might get well. At last, her mother relented, and allowed her to go with the usual admonition to follow the path, and not tarry or talk to strangers. Little Red Riding Hood knew the path well, as she had walked it many times before.
This time, however, as she skipped along the path, she came across something unexpected. A sad, thin, mangy wolf who was so lean that his ribs could be seen beneath his fur lie panting in the road way. The little girl had grown up with everyone she met loving her, so she knew no caution. Instead, her heart went out to the sad beast.
"Hello, Mr. Wolf." She said cheerfully. "How are you this fine day?"
Now the wolf replied (as animals used to do, back in those days) "Not well at all, my dear. See my ribs? My pack has cast me out, and now I must surely starve this winter."
"What a very sad thing! I would give you some of my goodies here in my basket, but they are for my grandmother, who also lies ailing. I wish I could help you." Red replied.
The wolf looked sadly up at the little girl and responded, "I thank you for your kindness, my dear, but I fear they would do me little good - you see, I need to eat meat, not sweet cakes. But come - you are such a lovely and kind-hearted young lass that I would assist you. If you go down this path here, you will find a waterfall that catches the sunlight beautifully. And beside the waterfall is a wall covered with the largest, most lovely red roses you could ever hope to find. The scent of them is so sweet, why, it is almost as if they were magic."
"Magic roses! Why, such a thing would be perfect for my grandmother!" Red giggled as he clapped her hands together joyfully.
"Oh, no, no." The wolf interrupted. "Now that I think on it, they are too far away from the path - someone so young as you should stay close to the path, and not stray from it."
The little girl pouted and stomped her foot at the wily wolf. "I am not too young - why, you sound like my mother! I will go and find those magic roses, and give one to my Grandmother, so she may feel better. Good day!" And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed off into the deep dark woods.
Now the little girl did not know that wolves without a pack were dangerous - and ones on the verge of starvation doubly so. Furthermore, this wolf was cunning and clever. As soon as the scarlet cloak bobbed out of sight, he dashed off as fast as he could go, down the path, through the woods, and up to Grandmother's house. Without pausing, he leapt through the window onto the surprised grandmother, and with one snip-snap of his jaws, he ate her all up. Then, he wickedly dressed in the grandmother's nightgown, and lay in the bed.
Soon, Little Red Riding Hood came skipping up to the door, with her basket of goodies and a lovely bouquet of roses. She peeked in the door, and gleefully rushed to the bedside. "Grandmother! I have a surprise for you! Aren't they wonderful?"
"Yes, they are, my dear!" Replied the wolf, doing his best to sound like a grandmother. "Bring them closer, so that I may smell them, my dear."
Red leaned closer, but stopped as she noticed something she had never noticed before. "Why, grandmother - I have never noticed this before today, but what a large nose you have!"
The wolf batted his eyelashes and looked shy as he encouraged her 'Why, all the better to smell the lovely flowers you have brought me, my dear."
"And grandmother - what very large eyes you have." The little girl marveled as she leaned over the bed.
"Why, all the better to see you with, my dear." The wolf replied, grinning from ear to ear as the little girl came closer and and closer.
She stopped and a look of dread came over her face. "And... what a very large, wet mouth you have, Grandmother. With such sharp teeth."
"All the better to eat you with, my dear!" the wolf crowed triumphantly as he leapt from beneath the bedcovers and pounced on the little girl. And with a quick snip-snap of his jaws, he ate the little girl all up.
The End
My sister used the example of "The Monster at The End Of the Book" She said when I was little she would read it over and over... and now she has put up walls, skirted the issue, said it nice to help, and has said it is hard. So now very plainly -- IF YOU DO NOT STOP OPENING THE BOOK OF (spouse) AND FOCUS ON YOUR OWN HEALTH (spouse ) GETs BETTER BEFORE YOU AND YoU WILL NOT EVEN HAVE A CHANCE OF HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM! He has the personify of an abuser he always will .....
When will I learn... through stories, through analogies, through life, or through injury......?
I'm also not about to do it while I"m wounded and exhausted myself. Blood in the water, weakest in the herd, wounded prey, all that, you know?