Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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WendiLaine
WendiLaine

I haven't been on here in a while, a big part is because my husband quit his job and so he's always home - if he saw me on here or the things I write, I'd be in a lot of trouble...


The other day in the midst of our fight, he called me a c*nt. I told him that was wrong of him to call me names and that I do not deserve such insults. He then told me that I shouldn't make such a big deal because "all husbands have call their wives names at one point or another" and because "everyone does it", I shouldn't act so "high and mighty".


So I ask you all this: Am I being too sensitive? Is this really something I should let go? He calls me degrading things almost every fight, its not the first time. Am I really playing the victim or is this one of his tactics?


TheFaithfulDove
TheFaithfulDove
He's verbally abusing you. My man pulled that crap too. First husband two years of hidden therapy got me away from 12 yr relationship. Now I somehow ended up with a bf who has the same temper. If something bothers him it's a problem. If it's me upset I'm over dramatic. Find a place in your area to get hidden therapy and they will help you leave.
giaeve
giaeve
It not right. You deserve to be valued and respected. I have learned that the way people treat you is a reflection of what is on their heart and how they feel about themselves. It could be based on what others have done to them to make them feel that way. Whatever has happened, there are false beliefs that are being thrown around. You are speaking truth into him with telling him it is not right. Did his parents mistreat each other? Do you think he is open to marriage counseling? The right counselor can help both of you learn respect, communication, boundaries, etc.
ehope
ehope
That sounds like a handy reply for someone that verbally abuses others..."everyone does it." Seriously, how old is this manchild? We teach our children that this is not an acceptable response, why would we accept that as a valid response from an adult?

Your first clue as to verbal abuse is the emotional dissonance you are feeling. If something doesn't feel right, it ISN'T. Listen to your gut.
Osheana
Osheana
Perfectly stated ehope. Straight facts!!!!!
Bowhunter56
Bowhunter56
Wendi,
Listen to these people, they all give good advice. Its not normal and is definitely a form of abuse.
ladybugluvs
ladybugluvs
Your not being sensitive. I'm starting to learn that abusers say that line a lot. If you can sneak and read about verbal abuse it will help. I started reading. Its hard because I start to get angry. My boyfriend says your being sensative your being a baby get over yourself etc
Jamesglen
Jamesglen
No. You are not being sensitive at all. It just shows his lack of respect for you.