Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
ok....so I am 1 step closer to getting out. I am at my parents house and got a great place to live when I give them my money and down payment and things. I am still letting him write me and harass me and text me and continue to look at my phone because he is all I have spent my time on for years. I am soooo ready to move on and am telling him. I guess he just still thinks I am weak and not going to leave. Well, I am trying to be so much stronger than before thanks to this site and the insight that I have gotten. I blew up on him today because I could not help it. He keeps continuing to act like everything is fine and I was like "look, please stop this nice guy stuff, I am done." I know I should have kept my mouth shut, but it was the only way that I could keep myself from getting dragged back into it all. I have saw the pattern and want it to stop. He has given me a guilt trip all day that I ruined his fathers day and all. He knows that I am done and is blaming everything on me. he called me names and things all day and now he is "poor me." "I am going to be a single dad and how am I going to do that and you have not given me any attention since you were pregnant" (7years ago). Then continues on and asks if our daughter is really his. I know these are all ways to hurt me and make me weak...how do I deal with him continuing to hurt me. I know not caring what he says, but it is easier said than done. I am happy to move on, but know that he is trying to get me to back down and be weak and stay again. Help me be stronger....give me some tips on what to do to make my self esteem stronger and not give in to this man again. He has hurt me mentally, physically, emotionally and I keep taking him back because I feel sorry for him. When will I feel sorry for myself and my children and get the hell out? It is hard to be excited about something new when he is a burden and it is hard to not think about him and worry about him......
You will stop feeling guilty, after all HE made the situation what it is....NOT you. He orchastrated and wrote the script.
Congrads on the place though, very good step!
I love Sinn's comment about how he orchestrated and wrote the script, beautiful work.
Good for you for taking these positive steps in the right direction.
You can take care of yourself and you deserve to be happy and free and be treated kindly.
It can be hard, but just remember that when you feel sorry for him, you are really mourning the abuse of all the love and time and energy you invest in him, because sadly, it all goes down the drain with an abuser. They are like and endless black hole and they suck all the life out of their victim, and then throw us away when we have nothing left, and that's only if we're "lucky" enough to be alive.
Just realize that abusers are LIARS. His pleas, apologies, and promises are only LIES desgined only to keep on being able to abuse you. I know it's so horrible, but unfortunately, that's how abusers are.
Hang in there. We are here for you.
I've been coming to this site on and off for a couple of years and I too just left my child's Father AND am also staying with my parents. What a TRIP! Reading your post made me finally be able to post after ages of lurking and not posting, although I do know that others are and have gone through what I'm going through to ready your posting, well it could pretty much be me. I just dumped him only a week ago. I don't have too much advice b/c this is all new to me but I hope the best for you and your child. I KNOW EXACTLY how hard it is, it's unreal, but I keep telling myself (or making myself tell myself! lol) what a jerk he was 99.999% of the time to me/us and how crazy he was and is. I have moments of despair, but I just push them aside, I must push them aside for my son, I'm full throttle looking for a job, etc. Let's talk through here if you'd like, I think we have a lot in common. :) Take-care and God-Bless. :)