Without moving out, can you pack a suitcase and go stay with your parents (or a friend, or a motel?) for a week or so until you can talk to a lawyer and figure out where to go from here? At least he will be away from you and you can think clearly without fear and drama?

Is an EPO a protection order? Doesn't that mean you can have the police come throw him out?

I understand that you just want some peace in your life. You may have to temporarily make that sacrifice to go to your parents' house or rent an apartment for the time being. At there you will have a peace of mind until you can further sort things out. His begging has left you feeling guilty, and if you allow him, he will use that guilt to keep you and the control he has just that much longer. It's so hard to determine when a verbal abuser is stating what they feel. Does he really love you when he says he does, or does he really hate you and want you to go F--- yourself? It's so hard for me to figure that out. Does he love me and just doesn't know how to argue, so says things to hurt me? Does he know how to handle anger. Just thinking out loud about my ex. 2 weeks now and I'm in Peaceful City.

ok, are you divorced? PAPERS???? EPO????? I am a little confused.

How long have you been unhappy? Just remember days turn into weeks turn into years........the cycle NEVER STOPS until you get off.

Can you clarify these?

Even with counseling it took me a long time to finally leave, and unfortunately sometimes it takes the abuse to reach a new level before something is triggered in us to get out, and even then it can be hard to stay away.

Counseling is a good place to start. I found free counseling from a domestic violence agency and it did not require the abuse to be physical for me to receive help.

I find the abusers reaction is what keeps us from standing our ground - there has to come a point where nothing they could say/do matters anymore when we find our own truth/resolve for health.

ok, yes....in Sept I was in total shock when my husband was angry and came home and started to beat the crap out of me. I filed for divorce at that time and an EPO was taken out due to the domestic violence. I was at the house and doing alright and he was down the street in the same neighborhood at his friends house. I had to drive by him everyday. He had his friend call 1 day to see if he could get some clothes about a week or so later and I broke down and started talking to him and let him back in! I was so lonely and sad and he was down the street and I gave in. So the divorce is not final but I need to just pay the lawyer the rest of the fees and it will be finished and the EPO is still in effect even though I let him back, they told me that it was still effective. I just let him get away with so much and also let him get away from the law that now he thinks there is nothing coming between us. I know that it is my fault for letting him back in, but at the time I was not as strong as I am now. I feel I am ready to end this and now it is him who is continuing to hold on and does not "make it easy" for me to leave. I guess I just did not want it to turn out to be a big ordeal~ even though I know it is going to be. I am a wreck! He continues to manipulate me and I continue to let him. It is like an addiction for both of us or something except I want it to stop. I want to be single and peaceful. And at the same time I still feel his control over me......STILL!

Okay, the thing to to is tell him it is not working and he should leave. Be as calm as you can and if he resist tell him that you want to do this in a civil way, but that the EPO is still effective and you don't want to use it, but you will.

Tell him, So I am asking you nicely, to please leave. Then if he don't use your order.