Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I guess it just makes me feel so bad to know that I could have this person if I wanted, for the rest of my life... but... in my heart I know he isn't right (or good, at all) for me. :( And I wish it didn't hurt so bad.
I think recently I have stopped loving my brother "Charles". For a long time I would deal with his rages, and then he'd calm down and we'd go to a movie or whatever and I'd have a great time and think we had some sort of bond . . . but I'm just realising that the brother I cared about wasn't really real anyway. It's sad that the good times were illusory - but relieving that I don't have to think "Maybe he'll improve" and can instead think of how to keep distance.
Plumb, I think it's really important to remember that not every relationship is valuable. Yes, you could be with a person if X, Y, and Z changed . . . but some of those changes would be you compromising on your very identity. A relationship where you have to do that isn't a good one. It's better to walk away from a toxic relationship, that to try to keep everything stuck together.
I thought you were going to say "I'm leaving" and I was going to say "Don't leave" I'm gald it wasn't that.
When I think back to that time, I was in the middle of a year of going back and forth with my emotionally abusive exbf.
I knew much of why I stayed was to avoid the sense of loss leaving would bring.
When I think of how bad it had to get to leave, I am learning to believe the red flags today so I don't go down such a dark road so long next time... that i recognize it and turn around and seek out the light that I left when i took that bad turn.