Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So my wife has filed for legal separation.
I asked her what brought it on, and she responded a few different reasons:
She's tired of living like this. (So am I. Good reason.)
She's tired of me treating her like I am. (Blame. Rejected.)
She feels we're stuck (Again, so do I.)
She thinks this will get the ball rolling, and initiate change (So, it's a tactic, to force me into a course of action other than the one I've committed to. Control. Bad mojo.)
With her refusing to budge on more than one of my requests, and setting up yet another vacation without me, and now escalating the separation, I'm feeling pretty good about outlasting her.
Someone asked me what the difference between a separation and a divorce was. It looks like a separation, you go through the expense, the fighting, and the stress of a divorce, and then once it's all over, you're still married. But on the bright side, in my state, at least, once it's filed for, it only takes one person's say to change it into a divorce, and once done, all the work is done already, so the divorce is effective immediately.
I asked her what brought it on, and she responded a few different reasons:
She's tired of living like this. (So am I. Good reason.)
She's tired of me treating her like I am. (Blame. Rejected.)
She feels we're stuck (Again, so do I.)
She thinks this will get the ball rolling, and initiate change (So, it's a tactic, to force me into a course of action other than the one I've committed to. Control. Bad mojo.)
With her refusing to budge on more than one of my requests, and setting up yet another vacation without me, and now escalating the separation, I'm feeling pretty good about outlasting her.
Someone asked me what the difference between a separation and a divorce was. It looks like a separation, you go through the expense, the fighting, and the stress of a divorce, and then once it's all over, you're still married. But on the bright side, in my state, at least, once it's filed for, it only takes one person's say to change it into a divorce, and once done, all the work is done already, so the divorce is effective immediately.
My therapist told me yesterday "You aren't actually in a war or a concentration camp. You don't have to endure your own life - you have the power to change it."
How do you feel about that? I notice you put it right at the end of your second post above... are you still contemplating it?
Hugs xxx
At my atty appt she told me that if you file for separation and then file for divorce it basically costs twice as much bc the atty has to do the same work twice that all needs to get refiled, etc. maybe that's something with our state...IDK....just thought I'd throw it out there since she specifically mentioned it.
I can understand the freeing feeling. Even if you know the truth, it still must be painful to have the blame put on you when you've done so much work keeping things together.