Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am in a state of feeling no hope,now.I have an attorney and he is ready to file. But my H doesn't want me too, say's he will do everything to save our family.He is actually watching every move I make.He has in his head that the only reason I want out is because I have another man.I am so miserable I thought when I finally got up the nerve get out, I could do it.But of course it isn't that easy.He has my children watching me when he can't and reporting in to him of my every call.I feel as though I am in prison with no way out with a life sentence.Think I have told you all that he is a control freak,and even though I have made up my mind he is still in control and actually more than ever because what I want isn't what he wants.It would be taking his power away and he wont have that! So today I have been in bed all day and last night,I feel the only way to escape is to sleep.My PTSD is in fast forward too,I am a nervous wreck, just barely functioning.He is never going to let me go,right now this is how I feel !! and I have to say it is terrible where I did have hope it is gone again.
If you feel sooooo sure that he will be a better man and that....stay- But we both know the first option is probably the one you are feeling.
I know how you feel. I also feel ''He is never going to let me go'' and I am also suffering from ptsd BUT mine is now my EX and my life is sooo much better without him. I don't know how I am going to manage my life from now on with three kids or if he will ever leave me alone....but at least I am FREE and I feel FREE. SO much better, hought I could never let him go, but I did!
Good luck
I can relate to wanting to escape into sleep. I often felt like that in the first few months after leaving. I also felt like my ex would always win and that there was no point because of that. They say that we attribute unnatural power to our abuser as part of the relationship and it's certainly how I felt. I believed that I was tied to him forever through some kind of special bond.
I think the important thing is for you to get into a position where you can go no-contact with your husband so that you start to feel that he can't control you. Part of going no contact means not interacting with people who will tell you about him and for the time being, that might include your older children. If I were you, I'd advise them that if they speak to you about their father, you will be immediately ending the conversation and then follow through. If you need to leave their presence or hang up on them to do so, do it.
You also need some support. Have you got a DV counselor you can call? Consider also speaking to a doctor. Sometimes some medication can help with the enormous stress of the initial period. You are probably having anxiety, hypervigilance and even panic attacks, that you need help with.
Thinking of you often. It does get better.
But you need your freedom. He will never "let" you go, you are right. He will never give you any power or freedom. The only way to get those things is to take them. Have your attorney file. Make a safe plan to get out - talk to the DV people.
Please, do what you can to escape. You can't live in that prison forever.
I don't have any wisdom to add to what the other women have already said, but I am rooting for you. Don't give up.
Ask yourself. . . . .
what you want your life to be,
for the rest of your life.
What you've described is
textbook "abuser fearing
he's losing control."
Stay with him and
you'll have more of
what you've had. . . .
and worse.
What do you want
your life to be, from
here on out?
I feel as if you are powering up to the top of the hill and you could stop and go back down or make it too the top...
Your abuser senses this. Please stay strong and keep going you WILL get there. And do not despair if you have a few set backs... keep going. big big hugs