Cali, That depends on what you are going to say to him. Are you away from him, in a safe place. Is the news earth shattering?

why don't you write a letter and show it to him tell him to read it and see how he reacts when he reads it

Geez... I'm scatterbrained today. The thing that I need to tell him is that I've received approval to attend a conference for work. The problem is that a male co-worker was also approved to go to this conference. H knew that I had received approval, but I told him a few weeks ago that with the recent budget cuts and cutbacks on corporate spending, we may not have been able to go. Made him happy! Now I have to ruin his world to tell him that I received approval. I thought of telling him that he's free to come too because there is nothing going on between me and this coworker. (even if there was, we are together at work every single day and there would be so many opportunities not to have to go across the country to "do our business" LOL) I'm still going to suggest that he come along too, and even sign up for the conference himself since his company is trying to get into an area that portions of the conference will address.

Thoughts?

Im going to disagree with the letter writing. if she does that and it angers him, he might get violent. If its bad, and likely to provoke a reaction do not be in his vacinity hen he reads it.

oops didnt see the above,.

If it were me, i would stand right in front of him, look him in the eye, tell him and invite him to come along. He will be able to read the reaction this way...if you have nothing to hide he will be able to see that.

I can relate Cali. I used to be so afraid of talking to and expressing things to my X, I would text him when he was on the other end of the couch. No bullshit.

But, I agree with Sinn. If you have to play this game with him, I think that is the best approach.

The email idea... I can see where you are coming from. But what sucks that, instead of feeling empathy for putting you in a position for you to have to email your feelings to him, he will only get defensive and accusatory. He most certainly won't see where you are coming from.

Good luck. Update us. xoxo

I personally wouldn't invite him to come. But that's because my STBX was a total and complete jerk when I went to a work conference.... just saying.

E-mail i've found is best way to get what i want to say across, as there's no other way to reason with him. But be careful and be prepared for any onslaught back, i don't know what he's like if he'll get mad or quietly angry, this is proof your walking on eggshells with him.

I think if you expect he may make accusations of cheating with your co worker on this trip I would tell him in person, and let him know how happy you would be to have him along. If you sent an email he would probably ask himself why you couldn't just tell him and be hypersensitive to it.