Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have stuck with NC so I should be feeling strong not so depressed like this. I have changed my phone number which I thought would make me feel better, because that was a HUGE step for me. I even was getting packages, letters and cards from his Mother, who had to look up or get my fathers address (which I don't live there but use his address) and am not talking to her anymore either. I only called her once with my OLD number to thank her for the first package, and "feel out" her reason for contact.
I have avoided his friends on facebook, not accepted thier friend requests, changed my number, went to a SATOP 2 day class I had in his town and did not go by his place or contact him at all or anyone he knows or stop anywhere in that town...SO WHY am I so fixated on him still?!!
ARGHHH!
I hate this, I hate that I am feeling weak, sad, upset, confused and wondering why it didn't work, why he is ok, why I even care, why he gets to just move on, get back with his ex time after time, cheat on her time after time, go through money like its nothing, have no conscience, live like a teenager off all his addictions and it never bites him in his ass?
Sorry just venting..I have to be the responsible one..work 40 plus hours a week, don't get to go on the "trips" he does, spend money left and right on vacations, binges, new vehicles, dates..etc.. :(
This man is in his 40s..and it is as if he is Peter Pan living in wonderland.
I have avoided his friends on facebook, not accepted thier friend requests, changed my number, went to a SATOP 2 day class I had in his town and did not go by his place or contact him at all or anyone he knows or stop anywhere in that town...SO WHY am I so fixated on him still?!!
ARGHHH!
I hate this, I hate that I am feeling weak, sad, upset, confused and wondering why it didn't work, why he is ok, why I even care, why he gets to just move on, get back with his ex time after time, cheat on her time after time, go through money like its nothing, have no conscience, live like a teenager off all his addictions and it never bites him in his ass?
Sorry just venting..I have to be the responsible one..work 40 plus hours a week, don't get to go on the "trips" he does, spend money left and right on vacations, binges, new vehicles, dates..etc.. :(
This man is in his 40s..and it is as if he is Peter Pan living in wonderland.
It seems from your post that your focus is on him. What he is doing, who he is with, what he has. Darlin' take that energy and focus on you. What he is doing doesn't matter. What you do does.
What positive things do you have in your life that are special to you? What types of things do you enjoy that make you smile? What steps in your healing can you do today that will help bring peace?
Whenever I start to feel run down and exhausted. I tell myself it's still better than how I felt when I was with him. And it's true.
Take care of you,
Seawee
He is. Imo they all are.
As far as his mother is concerned i have the feeling that her contact is about an attempt to convert you. And since your ex knew your maiden name, he is probably the on that told her. The best thing to do to end her contact imo would be to not reply.
Just taking all of those necessary steps as well as talking about him here or online elsewhere are enough to keep you fixated on him. Maybe try getting away from your house and computer as much as possible. That is what helps me .
He just has such a different lifestyle than me and I know I should not fixate on that, but yes to be honest I am a bit envious. He gets to go to college, something I would love to be able to do, but can't. He gets to work his own hours, even though I think it's a shady business and not really sure how he makes his money really. I work all the time. He seems to be going out of town to play all the time. I know I HAVE to stop comparing, but it really does not seem fair that someone who lives life on the edge doing recreational drugs, sleeping around, only taking two college courses and most likely paying or sleeping with girls to get his grades is having the time of his life while little miss responsible or miss modesty as he liked to call me, is letting life pass her by.
Sorry not angry at anyone here, mad at myself..it seems like you pay for being good in life, if that makes sense?
What got me was that she knew my full FIRST name and he did not call me that, he called me my shorter name. OH well.
I have not replied or contacted either of them since her last contact.
I needed to take the necessary steps of changing my phone number not only to keep him from contacting me but possibly her as well or his friends, but the other way around. I also had an ex from years past that had my number and still contacts me and makes my life hell.
So that was why I changed my number.
I talk about him here as I thought that was what this was for? Support about the abuser and getting out from under..I guess its just a weak day. Today is a slow day at work and I don't have internet at home. I don't have movie channels at home and it has been real hot so I have not been outside as much. I live alone and am in my 40s as well so most of my friends have lives. Ya know, families, kids and such. I married younger, didn't have kids sadly and was divorced early. Outside of work, I don't really have much going on.
I think this is how I get the men I get. :( I am not a real social creature and I live in a small town that is full of people that seem to flucuate between churches or bars. I know that sounds harsh, but if your a loner, it just seems to be that way.
I don't like bars, but I have not quite turned to religion either.
I will figure it out I suppose.
Your right, I need to get off the pity pot though. He is happy without me and I need to get happy.