Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Pasted in from today's
Wolf's Daily Howl
Today is June Fourteenth.
It was on this date in 1942
that my parents married.
They were married fifty years
and three weeks, till my father
died in the month that followed
their fiftieth anniversary.
They married on Flag Day, so
June 14th was always an important
occasion in my heart ---- first because
it began their life together, and second
because I honor the concept of a
democratic United States of America.
Then, in 1999, on June 14th, I bought
the home in which I've lived ever since.
The fact that it, and all the houses on
my block, were built with actual, twenty-
foot flag poles in the front yards, wasn't
the reason I chose it, but was certainly an
added feature my parents would have been
thrilled to know, had they been with me,
in 1999.
So for thirteen years, in addition to June 14
being my parents' anniversary and Flag Day,
I celebrate the acquisition of a home I love
(not to mention my greatest material asset).
The day I closed on this house, I named it
"Victory Valley." I knew that it was here
that I would "make my stand," here in my
Victorian home in the Naugatuck Valley.
My parents' marriage wasn't anything
close to perfect. My mother was a
narcissist and we were a fabulously
dysfunctional family.
The American democracy isn't anywhere
close to perfect. It was born with humans
held as property. It's struggled with all
kinds of issues through its 236 years.
And it's fair to say, there are still struggles
to come.
My home isn't even marginally perfect. I
have housekeeping issues. I have plumbing
issues. At some point in the foreseeable
future I'll need a new roof.
But every night when I close my eyes, I
feel embraced and protected by its walls
and its promise of security.
So today, on this June Fourteenth Flag Day,
I celebrate my parents' marriage, the purchase
of Victory Valley, and the hope of a free and
diverse society for which my grandparents
left the violence and discrimination of
czarist Russia, to live a life of peace
and promise.
It's been no small victory for me,
just to get here. And I anticipate
that the years to come will yield
for me, the triumphant visions
my dreams have shown me.
Where is YOUR Victory Valley?
What do YOU celebrate with
amazement and joy?
And if you don't yet, what is your vision?
Wolf's Daily Howl
Today is June Fourteenth.
It was on this date in 1942
that my parents married.
They were married fifty years
and three weeks, till my father
died in the month that followed
their fiftieth anniversary.
They married on Flag Day, so
June 14th was always an important
occasion in my heart ---- first because
it began their life together, and second
because I honor the concept of a
democratic United States of America.
Then, in 1999, on June 14th, I bought
the home in which I've lived ever since.
The fact that it, and all the houses on
my block, were built with actual, twenty-
foot flag poles in the front yards, wasn't
the reason I chose it, but was certainly an
added feature my parents would have been
thrilled to know, had they been with me,
in 1999.
So for thirteen years, in addition to June 14
being my parents' anniversary and Flag Day,
I celebrate the acquisition of a home I love
(not to mention my greatest material asset).
The day I closed on this house, I named it
"Victory Valley." I knew that it was here
that I would "make my stand," here in my
Victorian home in the Naugatuck Valley.
My parents' marriage wasn't anything
close to perfect. My mother was a
narcissist and we were a fabulously
dysfunctional family.
The American democracy isn't anywhere
close to perfect. It was born with humans
held as property. It's struggled with all
kinds of issues through its 236 years.
And it's fair to say, there are still struggles
to come.
My home isn't even marginally perfect. I
have housekeeping issues. I have plumbing
issues. At some point in the foreseeable
future I'll need a new roof.
But every night when I close my eyes, I
feel embraced and protected by its walls
and its promise of security.
So today, on this June Fourteenth Flag Day,
I celebrate my parents' marriage, the purchase
of Victory Valley, and the hope of a free and
diverse society for which my grandparents
left the violence and discrimination of
czarist Russia, to live a life of peace
and promise.
It's been no small victory for me,
just to get here. And I anticipate
that the years to come will yield
for me, the triumphant visions
my dreams have shown me.
Where is YOUR Victory Valley?
What do YOU celebrate with
amazement and joy?
And if you don't yet, what is your vision?
What is my vision? Yikes! I don't really know! But I am starting to think about it.
I was quite prepared to be living in a dank, dark, badly finished basement suite, but somehow lucked upon this one-sunny, dry, with new, white paint, new appliances (including washer and drier under the stairs)..
I somehow, with odds and and ends, furnished it so that it kind of looks like some cool artist's loft.
half the stuff I have here (kids art on the walls, odd lighting fixtures I made out of sparkly garland, a coat rack built from pallets) my ex would have NEVER allowed in HIS perfect home!
I made that that everything I purchased was chosen with care and comfort, not fighting because ex was frustrated and just forced me to choose something fast...
I made a lamp shade out of a $3 shade and a bunch of white feathers..and yeah, in the daylight it looks a little kindergarten-ish, but at night it looks pretty damn sexy..
my bedroom is a GIRLY room, with my jewelry doubling as art..and my shoes are all on a bookshelf..and I have lovely red sheets, and a soft, nubby red throw over top...
outside the side door of my dilapidated basement suite, I have 2 red, plastic adirondack chairs from walmart ($17 each!) and they are LOVELY!!!
I got a turquoise stool in between, and two massive pots of flowers..and it looks stunning.
I also bought tons of different tea-lights and try to remember to light them every night..
it's such a ME home..
and so NOT a HE home....
my abuser can sit alone in our big house, with all of his 'nice' stuff...
I never thought I'd have a place so lovely, and all purchased on a budget...
I'm saving for my Victory Valley - living with my mom for the time being. She has been on her own since my dad died 17 years ago and is turning 91 next month. She still active, still drives and still has all her wits about her. I hope I have her genes!
Rachel - i am looking forward to a ME home, not a HE home - I loved that line in your post! You have come so far in the last year. You should be so proud of yourself!