I will use the term monster instead of abuser in this posting - please forgive me if the word seems too strong. My parents were both monsters, but because my father was largely absent in my life, my mother was the main monster. She did something to me that left me with a lifelong painful shyness. I now live at times with an absolute fear of other human beings. My mother was a Jekyll & Hyde monster. When I was alone with her, she physically beat (I'm not sure; would assault be the right word?) me with her fat purple fists and kicked me. Often she hit or threatened me with objects like broom handles and large sharp kitchen knives. She starved me to the point that I would pass out in school and other public places. When I regained consciousness, if she found out, I would be beaten for having passed out. I was not permitted to speak aloud, take baths, wear clean clothes, or own anything. We were constantly moving around by Greyhound Busses and taxi-cabs to avoid my mother being caught by law enforcement. But there was something else: when I was with my mother in the presence of other people, she suddenly became someone else, like a light that is turned on or off instantly by a switch. She became polite! She told people that I was unable to speak, wouldn't eat, and wouldn't take baths - because as she said, I was mentally retarded! She complained to people about how awful it was for her to be burdened by such a horrible child. She was a very convincing liar. People acted as if they believed her. The moment the other people were gone, the light switch changed again and she would return to being the monster.
I just want other people to know that if you are being abused, the longer you stay with the abuser, the worse the affect will be on you. You could even become permanently scarred like me - I may actually be beyond repair. Please get help immediately. Talk to people even if you don't know them or you are ashamed of yourself for allowing someone to hurt you. Talk to school counselors, church members, total strangers if you have to. Remember that some people don't survive abuse mentally or physically intact, but you can. If I had as a child run away or had someone to talk to, I might have faired worse or better, but for whatever reason, I stayed with a monster, and I paid a price. Be strong, stay alive, keep yourself intact, get help. You are too precious to be hurt "simply because you exist."

Beaumont