Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So chorus line opens at the theatre I have called home for 5 years. I've been involved in some way shape or form in almost 100 productions there.
I've now been told that I am not welcome at this production, because J, my old friend, is in it. She is still angry at me - her boyfriend hates me, and is still speaking regularly to her, as well as to the director and producer. Which amazes me, because he lives in Florida. Now the producer has told me that 'seeing the show is not an option for me' and the director has requested that, for the good of the company, I not attend.
They're afraid that J will freak out, not be able to perform, and likely call the police to have me escorted away in front of the whole audience. I pointed out that those would not be rational responses to what is a very understandable and rational act on my part. I should not have to limit my behavior because of overreaction on other's parts.
The producer went on to tell me how tired she was of being stuck in the middle of all this conflict. Actually, she told me that she was more tired of the conflict than I was. I went off on her then. I've asked again and again that she tell me when supporting me is wearing on her, and I will back off rather than let it turn to resentment. Also, I can't help but feel that she also has the option of no longer supporting her 'friends' who insist on harrassing me, but of course I cannot demand that.
J is in the show, and I admit that I would like to see her perform. I also, however, have a half-dozen other friends in the show, several of which hav requested that I be there. I can't figure out how to reconsile the demand that I 'get on with my life, and let J go' with the demand that I allow J's demands to limit my behavior in regards to my other friends and my company. The two seem mutually exclusive.
The show runs for 5 weeks. This is going to be a long month.
I've now been told that I am not welcome at this production, because J, my old friend, is in it. She is still angry at me - her boyfriend hates me, and is still speaking regularly to her, as well as to the director and producer. Which amazes me, because he lives in Florida. Now the producer has told me that 'seeing the show is not an option for me' and the director has requested that, for the good of the company, I not attend.
They're afraid that J will freak out, not be able to perform, and likely call the police to have me escorted away in front of the whole audience. I pointed out that those would not be rational responses to what is a very understandable and rational act on my part. I should not have to limit my behavior because of overreaction on other's parts.
The producer went on to tell me how tired she was of being stuck in the middle of all this conflict. Actually, she told me that she was more tired of the conflict than I was. I went off on her then. I've asked again and again that she tell me when supporting me is wearing on her, and I will back off rather than let it turn to resentment. Also, I can't help but feel that she also has the option of no longer supporting her 'friends' who insist on harrassing me, but of course I cannot demand that.
J is in the show, and I admit that I would like to see her perform. I also, however, have a half-dozen other friends in the show, several of which hav requested that I be there. I can't figure out how to reconsile the demand that I 'get on with my life, and let J go' with the demand that I allow J's demands to limit my behavior in regards to my other friends and my company. The two seem mutually exclusive.
The show runs for 5 weeks. This is going to be a long month.
This really does not sound like this is fair at all. I really have no suggestions, but I did want to say how sorry I am.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I was told 'yeah, it sucks, and no, it's not fair. But these are the results of the choices you made.' But I haven't been making the choices!
It's very frustrating, and enough to make me contemplate running away to join the circus. Human cannonball act or something.Heck, I'll clean the elephant poop - it would be an improvement over life now.
I really think some of these people need to grow up and stop passing the buck to you.
Like angel grace said, J is not much of a pro if she can't perform just because you are there - what is she, a child? And the producer and director are pandering to these spoiled tantrums and banning you from the show as a result? Total rubbish. It's a free country. Or it should be.
If I was in charge of that show, I would be telling J that personal sh*t should be kept out of it, and that she does NOT dictate what goes on. If she can't do her part without whining and threatening a scene, then maybe she should leave. Sounds to me unfortunately like the bosses are catering to the little diva because they have so much and so many others invested in the show, that they are scared SHE'LL quit or bring bad publicity on them. And bf is supporting and stirring the revolt because he probably doesn't like anyone making 'his woman' unhappy. Or so he sees it. It's probably a macho ownership thing :/
One word: immaturity.
I really feel for you and am sorry again :( There doesn't appear to be a whole lot you can actually do about it. Go if you want to for your other friends, and if you can risk the whole being escorted out... it may just be a childish scare tactic, but then again I don't know this woman. If she's enough of a drama queen she might well do it. It's your call.
Just wanted to offer my support in this crappy affair. Been in similar myself. Not nice. Take care of you. (HUG)
Go if you want to go. They are really going to cause a scene by dragging a quiet theatre-goer out of their seat in front of an audience? Really? I doubt it.
I can see both sides of the argument. It's not going to be fun, whether I go or not. But I do know I was talked into skipping two other chances to see her, and not only was that fact used against me to her, but it was thrown back in my face as well. Plus, having the relationship end while passing her up, and hurting her like that - I regret it, myself. She deserved better than that.
I know it won't fix anything, and will likely make things worse. But I've felt the sting of turning my back on her before, and am reluctant to do so again. Especially since I'm not hearing it from her, I'm only hearing it from people who have very different priorities than me, and who have given me bad advice before.
Still, I'm tossing a coin each day to determine if I see it that night or not.