There were times when I didn't think I could do it. I was very fragile.

But I would just put one foot in front of the other and get through just that ONE day... Then do it the next, then the next...

I don't know your story off hand, but giving yourself lots of down time to journal and just rest is essential.

You sound very wise. Hugs.

I can definitely relate JayLady.

We are fragile, but with the right therapist, the intent to heal and some good self-care & coping strategies, you don't have to wait years to go back to school.

I almost didn't go back to school because I thought I couldn't remember enough to take a test (thanks to the abuse fog). My therapist at the time did some testing to show me I was indeed more than capable of excelling in college. I had already been in therapy a while and was still married to the abuser. But I continued my weekly therapy sessions and got weekly massages (one of my self-care favorite things). It helped that I loved being in school. I joined a school club the focused on writing & I exercised 5 days a week. I graduated a year early with honors. Thankfully the H worked out of town and was gone 5 days a week. That also helped a lot!!!

You will know when you are ready. You are strong and way more resilient than you realize. I have a feeling you will be back in school sooner than you imagine AND doing well.

~healing hugs~

MyTrueColors,

Congratulations! That is so great! I am quite sure that was a self-esteem booster for you.

I hope that I will be able to find a good therapist who will give me the same tools your therapist gave to you. How long did it take you after therapy to go back to school? Were there any challenges in doing so?

DeliAnnem,

It is nice to hear that another woman was able to do it despite her trauma history. Maybe I will be able to do the same sooner than later.

And thank you for the compliment. It is nice to get as much positivity coming my way as possible.

JL, I was still in therapy while I went to school. I had started back taking one class at a time and did that for several years while I worked until I had enough money saved to take more than one class at a time. Again, I did that while I was still married. It was a battle, but I can tell you it was the school environment that helped me more than anything else. I felt totally alive going to school & meeting new people with common interests. I now look back and see that my going back to school and getting a degree was a definite threat to the ex's narcissistic ego.

I would suggest you could start out taking an adult ed class in something you want to learn about or that you just enjoy. This way you can slowly integrate yourself back into the college environment. Then, if you already know what you want to major in, take one class a quarter/semester, working toward getting your requirements out of the way. Plus take one class that you enjoy that will count toward either your major/minor requirement or an elective. (That's what I did.) Start out slow. And only take what you LIKE.

Also, check w/your college library to see if they have the old program "Where There's a Will, There's an A." That was the best thing I ever did. I watched it for free and learned a lot about how to interact w/professors and it really made a huge difference when I needed help and or advice. It also explained how to establish positive relationships w/my professors which lead to an offer of an assistantship. (If your local college doesn't have it, you can probably find it cheap on ebay.)

Another thing you can do is contact your college and ask what testing they do. Mine did the meyers briggs & another test that show what my interests were. My therapist did an extensive IQ test that took two sessions and not only provided an IQ #, but also confirmed that my memory was good and indicated if I had any learning disabilities.

Four things that my therapist shared w/me that continue to have meaning for me and that meaning has expanded over the years are:

1. Everything exists in its opposite form - so I have a choice as to how I see it

2. What I think about expands - again I have a choice as to whether I think about positive or negative things

3. Focus on the action, not the outcome

4. In order to have a positive, healthy loving relationship w/another person I must first have that w/myself.

So, as DA said, one foot in front of the other. And I will add one baby step at a time. And, as she alluded to, self-care is essential.

Once you get your foot in the therapy door and get settled w/a good therapist, feel free to venture out when you're ready.

Here is a the link to the questions for potential therapists that might help you in your search.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical_Emotional_Abuse/forum/20977607-questions-ask-potential