I deal with him and he's bent, I feel bent, I try to help him or fix him so I feel better, I get invested, he's bent, I see a glimmer of hope, he gets better, he crashes, I feel bent, I need help, he offers what he can, which is dwindling, I feel bad for being around someone I feel I have to "deal with" I isolate. I'm sick and tired of this. I'm dating my ex boyfriend who has verbally and emotionally abused me. Now he is being sweet and the abuse I see is the denial turned to outright lies, and they're so little it's easy to discount them. He's also got that morbid doesn't care about life and admits he may be dangerous to be around, probably because he's suicidal. I got a dozen red roses today because it would be our 1 year anniversary if we had stayed together, and we're not back together. Oh God this situation is not bringin out the best in me. It has become familiar and I have not otherwise filled my life up with friends.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??