Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello,
Things with wife and I were going really good. I was actually getting close to maybe wanting to be physically intimate with her. Then she did it. Again. She had a blow up and started abusing again.
I know that abusers cant stop and I knew it would happen again but she had been so good for 6-9 months.
It was her birthday June 13th, a Saturday. She took the day off. We were going to go to dinner and she insisted that her sister come along. Her sister and I hate each other. her sister is a mean old bitch. 53, never been married and spends 24/7 trying to break up our marraige. Her sister is over EVERY holiday and brings her stinky dog. I said I would go to dinner with her but not her sister. She insisted. Saturdays I am very tired from work. Like sick. I normally rest. I was not going to drive an hour each way to her sisters house.
So she had a fit and just wouldnt stop. Telling me Im horrible for doing this to HER. Now honestly I was in alot of pain and sick. In fact I beleive I had a minor stroke episode a few days before. I was not feeling welll. She kept on me for 2 1/2 hours and would not leave. Her car had me blocked in. She came at me with fingers open and was trying to gouge me. I threatened to call 911. She said "I" was being ridiculous. I blocked my face so she gouged my leg and there was a big scratch and some blood.
So I started to cry. Not becasue Im a baby but becasue I was angry and frustrated. I mean at that point I wanted to punch her not that I ever would. So she calls her sister and says he's crying and she cant come for dinner. I told her to go already. Then she laughed with her sister and said that I would commit suicide if she left. They laughed. How vile and sick.
So she puts her sister on the phone. Im crying hysterically. I told her sister that I had a very busy week (14 lost checks by people at work) and worked til 630 on Friday. I also told her that I think I might have had a stroke while THOSE TWO were on vacation earlier in the week. Her sister sarcastically said "They let you out of the hospital" and you had a stroke? Like laughing at me.. What a disgusting thing to say. That was her "sympathy". I threw the phone down and laid down. After about three hours she finally left and went to her sisters and left me alone.
She has been good overall for 6 months and this seemed to be an isolated incident. Should I just ignore it and know that shes gonna blow up every once in a while? It is so hard to live like this.
Please tell me your opinion and that Im not crazy for being bothered by what she did and said.Thanks.
Martin
Things with wife and I were going really good. I was actually getting close to maybe wanting to be physically intimate with her. Then she did it. Again. She had a blow up and started abusing again.
I know that abusers cant stop and I knew it would happen again but she had been so good for 6-9 months.
It was her birthday June 13th, a Saturday. She took the day off. We were going to go to dinner and she insisted that her sister come along. Her sister and I hate each other. her sister is a mean old bitch. 53, never been married and spends 24/7 trying to break up our marraige. Her sister is over EVERY holiday and brings her stinky dog. I said I would go to dinner with her but not her sister. She insisted. Saturdays I am very tired from work. Like sick. I normally rest. I was not going to drive an hour each way to her sisters house.
So she had a fit and just wouldnt stop. Telling me Im horrible for doing this to HER. Now honestly I was in alot of pain and sick. In fact I beleive I had a minor stroke episode a few days before. I was not feeling welll. She kept on me for 2 1/2 hours and would not leave. Her car had me blocked in. She came at me with fingers open and was trying to gouge me. I threatened to call 911. She said "I" was being ridiculous. I blocked my face so she gouged my leg and there was a big scratch and some blood.
So I started to cry. Not becasue Im a baby but becasue I was angry and frustrated. I mean at that point I wanted to punch her not that I ever would. So she calls her sister and says he's crying and she cant come for dinner. I told her to go already. Then she laughed with her sister and said that I would commit suicide if she left. They laughed. How vile and sick.
So she puts her sister on the phone. Im crying hysterically. I told her sister that I had a very busy week (14 lost checks by people at work) and worked til 630 on Friday. I also told her that I think I might have had a stroke while THOSE TWO were on vacation earlier in the week. Her sister sarcastically said "They let you out of the hospital" and you had a stroke? Like laughing at me.. What a disgusting thing to say. That was her "sympathy". I threw the phone down and laid down. After about three hours she finally left and went to her sisters and left me alone.
She has been good overall for 6 months and this seemed to be an isolated incident. Should I just ignore it and know that shes gonna blow up every once in a while? It is so hard to live like this.
Please tell me your opinion and that Im not crazy for being bothered by what she did and said.Thanks.
Martin
I'm so sorry you went
through what you did.
You're not crazy.
Please know that if your
wife proceeds in a way
typical of the cycle of abuse,
you just enjoyed a "honeymoon"
period, which obviously ended
recently. The next period of this
cycle is escalation.
Since she's already drawn blood,
if she tracks with the typical cycle,
she may well feel free to draw blood
again, and it may not be as far away
as six to nine months.
Also, if you're already in ill health,
please keep in mind that living
with abuse will unlikely be a
setting that will enable you to
enjoy better health.
It's true that it's tougher for
men who are being abused
to get needed support, let
alone services. But if you
contact your state's coalition
against domestic violence,
they should be able to help you.
(If you p.m. me your location,
I'll see if I can get you a number.)
Please take good care of yourself!
Sending you hugs
and wishes for healing.
I just worry about your health, this kind of stress will only increase your chance of getting more strokes. Will she be there to take care of you when you lost motor control?