Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
i am in this group because i survived child abuse. my mother was the abuser. i moved out 3 and a half years ago, she was sentenced, and we still have a relationship and talk on a regular basis.
my mother was very strict. if i had to miss church for an reason-even for a choir concert (which was a graded assignment) or homework, i was made to feel horrible. suddenly, whatever was keeping me from church was more important to me than god. my favorite singer is celine dion, and my mom routinely accused me of "worshipping her".
she fooled our church family into thinking that she was "the perfect mom", so when i told my aide at school (who also went to our church) she thought i was exaggerating. i soon became very uncomfortable in church because i was made to put on this face like everything was fine. in my mind, that was the same thing as lying; but without saying the lie out loud. i constantly felt like i was sinning in the house of god. in the one place where people were supposed to be like family...the place where i was suppose to be able to be free and worship...i was being made to lie. because of all of this, i had a very messed up relationship with god. i believed in him and loved him. but i didn't read the bible, wear dresses at church, or go to retreats to please or glorify god. i did them to please mom.
when i moved, i began to have a fulfilling relationship with god. however, i am still very uncomfortable in churches.
my mom came over and asked if i wanted to go to church with her tomorrow. i said no. i feel like i should be over it by now. i want to go to church. it would be nice if i could go with her. what do i do? can any of you relate to this?-fallon
my mother was very strict. if i had to miss church for an reason-even for a choir concert (which was a graded assignment) or homework, i was made to feel horrible. suddenly, whatever was keeping me from church was more important to me than god. my favorite singer is celine dion, and my mom routinely accused me of "worshipping her".
she fooled our church family into thinking that she was "the perfect mom", so when i told my aide at school (who also went to our church) she thought i was exaggerating. i soon became very uncomfortable in church because i was made to put on this face like everything was fine. in my mind, that was the same thing as lying; but without saying the lie out loud. i constantly felt like i was sinning in the house of god. in the one place where people were supposed to be like family...the place where i was suppose to be able to be free and worship...i was being made to lie. because of all of this, i had a very messed up relationship with god. i believed in him and loved him. but i didn't read the bible, wear dresses at church, or go to retreats to please or glorify god. i did them to please mom.
when i moved, i began to have a fulfilling relationship with god. however, i am still very uncomfortable in churches.
my mom came over and asked if i wanted to go to church with her tomorrow. i said no. i feel like i should be over it by now. i want to go to church. it would be nice if i could go with her. what do i do? can any of you relate to this?-fallon
I love God very very much and we have an amazing relationship and I worship on a daily basis and I never go to church. I worship in my own private way at home.
The God I know is very understanding, he would know you were forced to lie at church due to fear (and of course you were a child) this will not count in heaven as a sin because its not your fault....also the God I know loves all his children just the way they are and he doesnt mind where or when you pray..and he doesnt even mind if you forget.
Obviously I'm not a religious authority or anything like that but these are my genuine beliefs about God and I thought it might help you to hear a different perspective.
Infact by the sounds of things you are doing really really well moving on and have made loads of progress.
Love and hugs to you.
If you keep taking care of yourself, you'll get to a better place.
Do, keep taking care of yourself.
We are all different, and each of us who believes in a higher power interacts with that higher power in our own way. Feel free to interact with God in your own way and if, one day, you feel comfortable going back to Church and want to do so, then great. if not, it doesn't matter.
Never ever set a time limit on "getting over it". Never use words like "should" in relation to your feelings or healing. You are where you are in your healing, and it will progress as it does. You have clearly come a long long way and should be proud of how far you've come, rather than despairing at how far you think you have to go.