Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have have been away from my abuse almost a year, recently divorced. Out of no where comes this overwhelming guilt. I mean hot and heavy and very very real. I was crumbled in an hour almost to the point of tears. Thoughts were such as: What am I doing ripping apart a family that has been together 23 years? Did I need see his love for me? Did I not see all he did for us finacially? Did needlessly block his love for me? It didn't seem to matter how much of my journal I read, how much I remembered, how I see my kids and trying to pick up the pieces from him. A whole stinking year. What the heck? I know to have set backs but I have spent a year being strong, getting my own home, own identity and my own strength back. And it really came out of no where. I kid you not. I was just working along at work and BLAMO! It took me a few days to feel my new normal again. Sheesh!!
I am not sure what I need help with but anyone else have it THIS LATE in the game??
I am not sure what I need help with but anyone else have it THIS LATE in the game??
i once had this 4 years after i dumped him. its completely different from your story, we were only teens, and we were only together 1 year. but i still had it this late.
try to remember, that YOU didn't feel good there. he didn't even have to have been abusive, i dont know your story.. but you were not happy.
now you are. you can live YOUR life now.
hang in there and things will get better when time passes. being together for 23 years is really hard if it ends. it is only logical that you feel like that. are you still in contact? if you are( dont do it just for this) you could determine whether he is doing good. that should take away some guilt. a lot of times, divorce is good for both parties. and if it is only good for you, he still should have thought about that before.
on your picture you look like a strong woman who wants to enjoy life. you will hang in.
((hugs))
I feel this is your PTSD kicking in, it can POP UP AT ANY TIME, even years later, triggered by goodness knows what. Please speak to your therapist about it, believe it or not, this is a normal reaction to trauma.
You say you spent a whole year getting your identity and strength back, I assume because you were robbed of that by your ex? Good enough reasons right there to show you made the right decision.
This has been quite a stressful year, please take really good care of yourself!
My story is pretty much like others here. A sad tale of 23 years of verbal and emotional abuse. Favorite tactic of his? Silent treatment for weeks on end. Pulling out of life completely by not speaking, not eating with us, not sleeping with me, not going to birthdays or Church outings.....LOTS of crazy making. Flying off the handle for days then I would come home to a steak dinner and music and a loving husband. I kept a journal for approx 3 years now and it would make your hair curl some of the stuff he did. Now that I am out I ask the question that we all ask. Why oh why on earth did I put up with that??
That is only 1/2 my stress. My daugher quit high school, in trouble with the law, hopping from sofa to sofa, no contact for months on end, alcohol, drugs, relationships with men and women. She has since moved back with me and we are working on cleaning all that up. She is exactly what comes from an abusive household. No matter how hard I tried to not make it that. Sad....very sad.
Thanks again!
Have a super day!
Hugs!
After 23 years, you think you'll be back to great in less than one?
You're normal. Totally.
I'm glad you have journals that document what you went through.
Do you know my Index Card exercise? It's been bumped up again recently, but if you can't find it, PM me. It helps and it's been effective for lots of surivivors.
You're normal. Absolutely.
You're going to be okay. You will.
Nourish yourself.
Nurture yourself.
Model self-care and healthy living for your daughter.
Much love to you. Take good care.