Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'll keep this short and sweet. I have emotional and verbally abuse parents. My brother and his girlfriend let my parents have custody my niece at the age of one month (she's currently a year old). Both my parents have been throwing negative comments and threats at my niece:
DAD: She's the devil
She's the worst kid ever
{INSERT}, you keep trying to kill me (he said that to her face)
Taking care of {INSERT NAME} is like being in Hell
MOM: I'm going send you to Haiti so you'll never see your Auntie
I'M GOING TO KI--(she cut herself off)
Do that again and I'll hit you/ If you do that again I will hit you
Little devil
Recently my mom has been using either her hand or a plastic fly swatter to hit my niece. She yelled me for not giving her a fly swatter to hit her with which made me very concern. I emailed my social worker about what happen because I was really upset about this.
Today I was saw a social service worker inspector at my home. She came to investigate the situation. I left my house immediately because I was afraid of what was going to happen. I came back home 2 hours later and my mother was talking to my aunt on the phone about how ridiculous the social service worker was for accusing her of doing such a thing. I knew for sure that my social worker contacted her and I'm just fearful that my family will know that I indirectly called social services, that was not my intention. My parent absolutely hate anyone who is a social worker; my mom would even made rude jokes about me thinking of becoming a social worker such as "Oh, know if you became a social worker you would steal kids away from their parents. You would even throw me jail, wouldn't you?"
Was it the right thing for me to reach to my social worker or was I overreacting? I feel like I'm the only one see the dysfunction in my family unit and everyone else is ignoring it. I feel like I'm the crazy one.
DAD: She's the devil
She's the worst kid ever
{INSERT}, you keep trying to kill me (he said that to her face)
Taking care of {INSERT NAME} is like being in Hell
MOM: I'm going send you to Haiti so you'll never see your Auntie
I'M GOING TO KI--(she cut herself off)
Do that again and I'll hit you/ If you do that again I will hit you
Little devil
Recently my mom has been using either her hand or a plastic fly swatter to hit my niece. She yelled me for not giving her a fly swatter to hit her with which made me very concern. I emailed my social worker about what happen because I was really upset about this.
Today I was saw a social service worker inspector at my home. She came to investigate the situation. I left my house immediately because I was afraid of what was going to happen. I came back home 2 hours later and my mother was talking to my aunt on the phone about how ridiculous the social service worker was for accusing her of doing such a thing. I knew for sure that my social worker contacted her and I'm just fearful that my family will know that I indirectly called social services, that was not my intention. My parent absolutely hate anyone who is a social worker; my mom would even made rude jokes about me thinking of becoming a social worker such as "Oh, know if you became a social worker you would steal kids away from their parents. You would even throw me jail, wouldn't you?"
Was it the right thing for me to reach to my social worker or was I overreacting? I feel like I'm the only one see the dysfunction in my family unit and everyone else is ignoring it. I feel like I'm the crazy one.
I don't have a permanent job nor do I have a car. I don't really have work experience and I don't have friends who live by me to talk with so I rarely go outside I would talk to them on my phone but my mother hasn't paid my phone bill since last Christmas, however, my siblings are able to get their phone bills paid every month. My parents are also in charge of paying my college tuition and never pay on time which makes applying for each semester a depressing time for me. I just want to leave this house so badly to become independent but I'm not smart enough or prepare enough to do this yet : (
You have been brought down by the abuse in your home, so that you feel powerless and don't see all of your choices. Tell your social worker you need a counselor in order to help you through this transition. You are an adult. You can do this.
Your efforts to help your niece show that you have good instincts and insight into what is abuse, what is not healthy. You have a good head on your shoulders. I encourage you to get out of your parents' house, so that you can do what is necessary to help both yourself and your little niece.
Start documenting what is going on. And work on getting out. And then getting her out. You can do this.
Hugs.
The summer I planned on having was thrown out as I had learn first hand how to take care of her. It was difficult because my brother would refuse help me watch her because he wants to hangout, play video games, and go smoke with his friends and girlfriend. Fridays were especially worse from the summer on to my fall semester because my dad and mom would take late shifts and brothers stay out late meaning no sleep. This has really done a lot of damage to my GPA. I currently have to redo a research over the summer because my grade was too low for me to continue own with my major, Psychology. This was the second time I had do a research paper over the summer but because I informed my professor that I had depression.
I will say that one positive thing that has come out of this is that my niece has shared a strong bond with me. Even though my parents told me I was over coddling her I can see that my niece is showing more respect towards me. As a psychology major who studied development psychology and behavior disorders in children, I know what expect from her. She shows me more love and affection towards me then towards her biological mother. She even called me "mama" a few times.
What a sad situation.
Have you done any work
with a qualified therapist,
to repair whatever emotional
damage you've suffered,
growing up in an emotionally
abusive home? If you haven't,
to this point, I strongly urge
you to consider putting that
together.
In the case of your niece,
you did the right thing.
I'm so glad you did!!!!!!!!!!
Please take good care.
Any young child is demanding but if shes being treated badly I wouldt be surprised if she becomes extra "difficult". Obviously you are well aware of the problems. I hope youll be able to continue your studies and be able to improve things for your niece.
Others who have responded to your post are absolutely right in saying that you should contact a social worker and ask him/ her for help (financial aid) for school, so that you can live somewhere else and not have to live with such (crazy) people?
They are right in saying that you found your way to this forum...you should be able to find a job doing something...after all, you are going to college!!
I hope you and your niece find yourselves in a better situation...soon!!
Of course you cant always extrapolate across species but I do believe that we mammals have a lot in common and that love and respect are key to living a satisfying, balanced life. Every human being (and domestic animal) deserves these.