Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My mother has always been controlling . When my father died she totally lost it.She disowned me and my son. She wouldn't let us attend father's graveside service. My sister took her side. I stayed away from them for over two years. I live several hours away so it was easy to avoid them. I recently visited my mother. She is very ill. I stayed with her for several
weeks taking care of her. One night she got mad at me and told me to leave. It was about midnight I started putting my stuff on her front porch.
She locked me out. I finally got back in the house. She wouldn't talk to
me so I drove home. the next morning. She didn't worry about me driving home without any
sleep. I haven't been back to see her since.
She has caused allot of problems between me and my sister. My sister won't talk to me. It is very hard . I worry about my mother but feel I need to protect myself. When I call my mother she is always mad at someone or something.She usually gets mad at me and hangs up on me. All this is affecting my health. I feel bad but I don't want to be in this negative relationship with my mother. She blames everything one someone else. How to I stop feeling guilty?
weeks taking care of her. One night she got mad at me and told me to leave. It was about midnight I started putting my stuff on her front porch.
She locked me out. I finally got back in the house. She wouldn't talk to
me so I drove home. the next morning. She didn't worry about me driving home without any
sleep. I haven't been back to see her since.
She has caused allot of problems between me and my sister. My sister won't talk to me. It is very hard . I worry about my mother but feel I need to protect myself. When I call my mother she is always mad at someone or something.She usually gets mad at me and hangs up on me. All this is affecting my health. I feel bad but I don't want to be in this negative relationship with my mother. She blames everything one someone else. How to I stop feeling guilty?
that your mother suffers from what's
called a "cluster B" personality disorder.
The label of what's wrong with her
is less important than how she treats
you, which is abusive.
How you stop feeling guilty is to
find a therapist who understands
borderline personality disorder,
abuse, and family dysfunction.
It's important for you to get yourself
connected with a counselor in whom
you trust and who can guide you to
recovery from the abuse you've suffered.
I hope you'll consider doing that.
Hugs and healing thoughts.
I'd maintain minimal contact with your mother whilst getting therapy (which I see you are doing). Therapy is excellent for helping us recognise manipulation and dealing with it in a constructive way. The most important thing is for you to recognise that this is your mother's issue, not yours.
Why does he act like that to me? Because he can. I can't bring myself to be a bitch back. My sister can and my brother can, but I can't. I'm the oldest - got the brunt of his physical, verbal and emotional abuse. Because of me, his first wife left him and he had to marry the babysitter who got pregnant with me by him.
For me ... even though he is dying of prostate cancer (that could have been prevented but his fear kept him from getting checked out a lot earlier when he started having problems like I kept asking him to), I cannot be around him. He is just mean. to me. because I don't yell back.
I'm going to love myself and take care of my emotional and mental health - that means that I have to stay away from him.