Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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bottledbreath 01/04/2015

I've both read about and experienced the kind of Crazy Making where a significant other has acted all pissy, sometimes even going as far as to make it clear I had done something wrong, but refuses to answer what. Is that all it is, a part of Crazy Making, or does it have a more specific label?

An example: at the end of my relationship, my ex became increasingly verbally abusive, and regularly he'd say I wasn't successful. But no matter how confused I seemed or asked what that even meant, he wouldn't answer. Once or twice he even told me I couldn't handle the truth, and that's why he refused to answer, but I know better and it seemed more like he was just spewing angry words meant to cut me down but actually had no meaning.

MyTrueColors 01/04/2015

It is definitely crazy making. It could be labeled passive aggressive, manipulative, demeaning controlling, etc. Any way you look at it, it's just another way they can feel like they are in control. But it's all an illusion. And really, IMHO, whatever we decide to call it, it's just downright abusive.

IleneW 01/04/2015

I'd label it as
cruelly
manipulative.

beherenow15 01/04/2015

From of Gaslighting?

Tangelo 01/05/2015

Its called a-hole.

bottledbreath 01/05/2015

MyTrueColors, IleneW, and beherenow15, all those sound fitting. I never did quite figure out what he was trying to get out of me with statements he couldn't/wouldn't follow up with anything.

Tangelo, I laughed out loud in real life maybe a little too loud at that one.

needafriendplease 01/05/2015

They try and twist everything to look like your going mad. You end up thinking its your fault and that you are to blame. It's mental abuse.

Tangelo 01/05/2015

My DH "pouts" is that the same?

bottledbreath 01/05/2015

With what I'm referring to, yes, pouting is often very much a part of it, but also followed by no explanation why.

IleneW 01/05/2015

Pouting is an
attempt at
manipulation.

Same thing.

gramybear 01/05/2015

A couple of words come to mind. One is: controlling, 2 is narcissist, and lastly, ego maniac.
Hope this helps
Hugs GB

REDOAGAIN 01/06/2015

Passive Aggressive. They get angry, punish you in passive ways, never giving you an answer for why they are punishing you, because then they would have to own their anger, be accountable for their feelings and actions, instead they make you angry and let you express their anger for them. It's quite sick, hurting and using another human being to express your anger. To say hurtful things to someone in order to get them to REACT, so that the abuser can blame you for the anger. Thats the game they are playing. Thats why they give no answers for their behavior. They would have to own and take responsibility for it if they did.

bottledbreath 01/06/2015

Whipple2, that definition hit the nail on the head. Heck, I think my ex was aggressive-aggressive toward the very end when it took a lot more for me to react, and that's when it became obvious all he wanted was for me to slip up again.

gramybear 01/06/2015

Exactly Whipple2, I forgot the passive/aggressive ones! Hugs

MendingToday 01/09/2015

I think he was using that as a means to gain any sense of control over you because maybe he sensed that you were gone, in an odd way, I think they know. That's why they do that because they no they are no longer in control. So maybe insecurity on his part, if he can't back up what he is spewing, IMHO, he has NOTHING.

lol @ Tangelo yea Asholaphobia!!

deleted_user 01/09/2015

Don't ever try to make sense out of abuse...Because, you never can. This is another mental head game that all abusers use to keep you ''in line''. Don't listen to his lies...Your verbal abuse is HIS doing, not yours. Be glad you are rid of him, for your own mental and physical well being. You are stronger than you think you are.

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