Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
GOT A CALL FROM MY ABUSIVE EX. TELLING ME THAT HIM AND HIS GIRLFREIND BROKE UP. HE TOLD ME THAT THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE OF ME. I WAS LIKE HOW COULD THAT BE WHEN WE HAVENT TALKED IN 7 MONTHS! HE SAID I CANT HAVE WHAT I WANT NOW BECAUSE OF YOU. HE JUST KEPT TELLING ME YOU FUCKED UP MY RELATIONSHIP! BACK IN AUGUST HE COMPLETELY STOPPED TALKING TO ME BECAUSE OF HER. WELL I DIDNT KNOW THAT AT THE TIME AND I WAS HURTING AND KEPT TRYING TO GET IN CONTACT WITH HIM. BUT HE WOULD NEVER REPSOND TO ME SO AFTER A WHILE I WAS LIKE WHY AM I DOING THIS. WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER SO THATS WHY IT HURTS SOOOO BAD!WELL NOVEMBER WAS THE LAST TIME I TEXT HIM THEY JUST BROKE UP TWO WEEKS AGO. AND HE TELLS ME THAT THEY ARGUE ABOUT ME EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!IM LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING MORE THAN THAT AND YOU WANT TO PUT THE BELAME ON ME. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. THEN AFTER ALL THIS HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME. THIS MAN IS SO UNSTABLE ITS SCARY! OH AND THEN HE TELLS ME IF I EVER CATCH YOU WITH ANYBODY THATS YOUR ASS!! HE WAS LIKE I DONT CARE WHAT I DO BUT IF I EVER HEAR ABOUT YOU FUCKING AROUND I WILL FIND YOU! YOU KNOW GOD ALWAYS HAS A WAY TO SHOW YOU THINGS. I WAS MISSING HIM B4 ALL THIS. NOW THAT HE ACTS LIKE THIS MY FEELINGS HAVE TOTALLY CHANGED. I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE ABOUT HIM HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SON. IM SO MAD I DONT GIVE A CARE IF HE DIED TOMMOROW! MAY HE REST IN SHIT! THEN HE TELLS ME THAT DURING THE TIME HE WAS BASICALLY IGNORING ME I WASNT SUPPORTING HIM.IWAS LIKE YOU IDIOT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT YOU WHEN YOU WONT RETURN MY PHONE CALLS. I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH THIS MAN HE NEEDS A MENTAL INSTITUTION.I CANT BELEIVE I WOULD LOVE A MAN LIKE THIS. I JUST NEED HELP RIGHT NOW. ALOT OF PRAYER! THANKS FOR LISTENING.
Of COURSE none of it is your fault, but abusers can never blame themselves, so they always have a finger ready to point elsewhere...unfortunately, it is you this time. He is unstable and scary, and it's good that you've kept him out of your and your sons life...I would keep that up to the best of your ability for sure.
Abusers will push buttons, blame, guilt trip until they're blue in the face. But you know yourself well enough to know these are his issues.....yes, still irritating, but I found myself that I can only control how I react (or ignore for that matter) any attempts by my ex to drag me into his bizarre and twisted version of reality.
Hugs!
NO CONTACT.
NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Move, hide if you have to.
Don't let him have any clue about how to find you.
I can't do anything about him except to send him a big virtual kick in the balls! But really, I don't care about him. Let's take care of you!
Thing One is -- he is grovelling in his pathological/sickazz way. You are the stronger one, and not to get into comparisons as a lifestyle, but sometimes it is a good launching pad to realize YOU are the strong one and you can move on.
Thing Two: Going forward, view him as the stranger in the van with the candy outside the elementary school. He will dangle things you might be tempted to take ( flattery, his problems, whatever) , but the good news is, you know better! Seriously, any time he pulls a stunt like this, picture yourself as the kid walking home from school and he as the creep guy trying to lure you into his van. What would you do? RUN!!!!!!!! and then tell responsible adults like us at DS. :)
hope this helps,
No contact whatsoever is the only way to go with these lunatics.
Take care
Hugs...
First of all, I am so sorry that he's resurfaced and trying to take control of your life again. I agree with the others here. He sounds very unstable and you should have no contact with him at all. Good luck to you!!!