Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
TW FOR ANYONE HERE W/ AN EATING DISORDER!
initially, i did not want to discuss this here, but it is beginning to profoundly affect my recovery.
my mother abused me physically and emotionally througjhout my childhood. i was able to leave at 18, and moved into a shelter at 18 for 6 weeks.after that, i moved in with my dad.
mom and i are repairing our relationship. but ocassionally, she falls into old patterns of making me feel bad.
saturday was my cusion's wedding. mom was supposed to pick my sister and me up @ 2:30. the wedding was @ 3:30. she didn't get here till 3. she came in and said "is kayla (my sister) ready?!" when i said i wanted to go too, she said, "by the time we get your chair broke down and you get in the car, we'll be late! it'll take too long. it's too much of a hassle!" kayla started to say that it wasn't fair for her to go and not me. mom started yelling at us. dad had to shut the door in her face. kayla and i stayed home. i would've stayed home from the reception, but i missed my family.
"it's too much of a hassle!" really?! that's the same thing as saying i'm not wanted. that I'M too much of a hassle. ever since saturday, i have wanted to binge. i am so LIVID with her. she does this to me and then pretends nothing happened. i swear, if she wasn't my mom, i might not even SPEAK to her sometimes. i'm so sick of fighting it off....... i just want to go eat untill i can't feel. she yells at me, says unspeakable things, slams my front door, i fall apart. and then i'm expected to be ok the next time i see her. i'm so sick of it!
I WANT TO SCREAM AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want her to know EXACTLY what this has done to me! i kept her out of prison because i recognized that she was also abused and i know her well enough to know that prison would not help her one ioda. it would have just given her time to sit and think about how mad she was at me. i kept her out of prison, suggested terms for a plea agreement, gave her a second chance at being my mom because like a naive IDIOT i thought, "god only gave me one of her. that relationship is worth saving." and she tells me THAT!!!!!!!!! GOD I JUST WANT TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please pray that god would help me forgive her. and pray that i don't relapse again. i'm working on 2 months without bingeing, and 2 weeks of dno starving. it would really be a shame if i relapsed now.
initially, i did not want to discuss this here, but it is beginning to profoundly affect my recovery.
my mother abused me physically and emotionally througjhout my childhood. i was able to leave at 18, and moved into a shelter at 18 for 6 weeks.after that, i moved in with my dad.
mom and i are repairing our relationship. but ocassionally, she falls into old patterns of making me feel bad.
saturday was my cusion's wedding. mom was supposed to pick my sister and me up @ 2:30. the wedding was @ 3:30. she didn't get here till 3. she came in and said "is kayla (my sister) ready?!" when i said i wanted to go too, she said, "by the time we get your chair broke down and you get in the car, we'll be late! it'll take too long. it's too much of a hassle!" kayla started to say that it wasn't fair for her to go and not me. mom started yelling at us. dad had to shut the door in her face. kayla and i stayed home. i would've stayed home from the reception, but i missed my family.
"it's too much of a hassle!" really?! that's the same thing as saying i'm not wanted. that I'M too much of a hassle. ever since saturday, i have wanted to binge. i am so LIVID with her. she does this to me and then pretends nothing happened. i swear, if she wasn't my mom, i might not even SPEAK to her sometimes. i'm so sick of fighting it off....... i just want to go eat untill i can't feel. she yells at me, says unspeakable things, slams my front door, i fall apart. and then i'm expected to be ok the next time i see her. i'm so sick of it!
I WANT TO SCREAM AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want her to know EXACTLY what this has done to me! i kept her out of prison because i recognized that she was also abused and i know her well enough to know that prison would not help her one ioda. it would have just given her time to sit and think about how mad she was at me. i kept her out of prison, suggested terms for a plea agreement, gave her a second chance at being my mom because like a naive IDIOT i thought, "god only gave me one of her. that relationship is worth saving." and she tells me THAT!!!!!!!!! GOD I JUST WANT TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please pray that god would help me forgive her. and pray that i don't relapse again. i'm working on 2 months without bingeing, and 2 weeks of dno starving. it would really be a shame if i relapsed now.
I don't see much future in attempting to repair a relationship
with someone who's still abusing you.
Neither speaking to, let alone forgiving your mother
needs to be your focus, while she's still abusing you.
Your focus needs to be YOU.
Self-care.
Focus on getting healthy physcially and emotionally.
Focus on constructing and maintaining healthy and appropriate boundaries.
I hope you will attempt to shift your focus from your mother
to what you need to do for yourself to achieve
the best possible self-care.
Please take good care.
You are entitled to health, wholeness and happiness.
That may mean (at least for now), not having your
mother in your life.
Why do you have to continue having contact with her if she will not respect you or your boundaries? If you can not trust her to treat you with dignity?
You do not owe her anything.
Some people are better left to be angry and hateful all by themselves. Why I rarely see my own mother. It just causes too much hurt to have her around.
You deserve peace and respect.
Hugs to you.
Being your mother does not give her the right to treat you or anyone else badly. Being related is no excuse for abusing someone. Would you keep a friend who treated you that way? Until she figures out how precious and special you are, she should not be allowed anywhere near you. She doesn't deserve someone like you in her life.
Don't let her win by bingeing. If you go on a food binge then she wins, she's right. Don't give her that.
Anger is the best medicine sometimes; it can push us to do things we might not otherwise do. USE the anger, but not against yourself.
her defense is that i should be over it because it's been 4 years.she'snever actually apologized and meant it.
when we're happy, we're REALLY happy.we go to concerts and stuff together. we can talk for hours on end. and it's those times that give me hope. THAT'S my mother-the loving, giving soul who delights in making another person's day better. she's the person who sent me flowers at school on my 13th birthday. she's the type of mom who drove out of her way to a carnival for the dreams come true foundation (like make a wish, but for disabled kids) because mohammad ali was sponsoring it. he'sfriends with my favorite singer in the world celine dion. and mom thought that if she could talk to him that maybe i could get a meet and greet or something. THAT'S my mom.
the person who made my life hell was not her. it was like jeckle and hyde or something. it was like some devilish spirit had invaded her.
I wish you the best and sorry to hear you still dealing with this.