Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I think he is trying to come back to me. The last fews days he has told me I have been acting different because I told him that if we got back together I didnt feel like I needed to be under supervision or called names and all that. His living arrangements have changed which was with another girl). Now i think he is trying to live w/ me. I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. I told him that too and he said that it broke his heart. Made me feel really bad when he said that. I just dont want to feel nervous about coming home, afraid he is going to argue w/ me and call me names. Although he is not calling me names today I know it will eventually happen like unsual. I am a full time college student and work part time. I pay for my own apartment. And I just dont want extra stress added w/ him being here. I told him he needs to just get a job and get his own place. ( he is on his own, he never had his parents to help him, although he is 24 he didnt have his parents to help get him started, thats why he has been living w/ othe ppl his whole life). But its enough of the excuses right? He wont get a job. I should just show him tough love right? not give in? Also its a problem because my mom comes to my apartment for lunch break almost everyday and they dont get along. I can't tell her she can't come over here. That is really too much stress on me dealing w/ all that. That sounds really selfish but I have done EVERYTHING for him and I was abused. Its time to do me right? I dont need to baby him and give in to what he wants....right?
You wrote:
I have done EVERYTHING for him and I was abused.
Meg ---- Why would you want him back?
??????????????
Your mother is a good guage of whats good for you..and he won't even get along with her for your sake? Tells you a lot..
You say he has verbally abused you..and that hes a slob in terms of getting a job, he has tried to control you, and has called you names?
You say 'I just dont want to feel nervous about coming home, afraid he is going to argue w/ me and call me names'
Of course you don't, and please don't go there...Please don't feel obliged to take him on..and give him a place to stay..
Yes it is time to 'do you right'..and time he lives off his own abilities..
Please don't give in and give him a roof over his head...let him take responsibikltiy for himself..and take it from there?
Though sorry to say..sounds to me..like the sooner you are done with him, the better...
Don't fall for it..You deserve way better...
I came home today and my ex was standing at my front door. I was so shocked! Firstly, because I don't know how he found out where I living, second because I haven't seen him in a month (since the break up), and third because I didn't know what to do. Should I drive away? Should I lock my doors and call a friend? Should I confront him and see what he wants?
I did confront him. He wanted to talk about the break up and the possibility of a reconciliation. I told him that I was tired of being a victim, tired of his abuse, and it was too late. It was too late 6 months ago. I cried, he tried to hug me, and I wouldn't let him touch me. It ended with him leaving upset, and me crying in my bedroom. Why did he do it? Why did he have to find me when I was doing so good without him? Why won't he let me go?
I dont understand why anyone would allow something like that bk into thier lives.
Listen to your Mother, you really dont need to say much - as a Mother she already knows and will assist you in reclaiming your life and peace and happiness and joy etc... without being abused and scared and ran into the ground but such crap.
He sorta sound like a boy sorta trying to be like a player the player who gets free ride while bashing woman into ground while playing the oh honey am so sorry lieing tactic. And Sweet Pea dont invite him in are allow him to stay with you for even a day for it may take you 6 mos to get him out again. and it may even take courts to get him out. I wouldnt care if it was sleeting out and ground cover with snow if he dared to knock on my door. I would simple call 911 and fix myself a cup of coco.I would also obtain a restraining order.
Sounds like he's a user, a boy in an adult body and his weapon of choise right now being his mouth & justures. Let the police have him.
For now take care of yourself and enjoy your Mother & Daughter days. I miss spending time w my Mother - we live 700 miles apart and our ph bills use to show it until we both got alltell free call plan.
Ya, am missing my mommy so off I go to call her.
Take care
Unfortunately, he will find dozens out there who will let him abuse them - you don't have to be one of them.
You are first and foremost your own responsibility, and if you really want to help another person, you must make them take full responsibility for themselves.
There are resources out there that he can take advantage of if he needs to.
Letting him abuse you will not help him at all, and will only hurt you.