I have spoken to a (non abusive ex) who has moved near by, I told him that he had done some things that I think are wrong and sick and that If I was going to befriend him I need an apology and need him to accept what he's done and how its affected me. He kept making excuses for himself, I know he'll never see my perspective, so I said I'm sorry I don't think I should see you then, and stuck by it!
I'm so proud of myself! This is the first time I've ever done something like that.