Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been bugged a bit since yesterday in our brief interaction on the phone. We went back and forth about the house topic. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had to deal with this guy having children.
I offered a solution to our problem. Of course he needs to get his way. He says to me...
Of course you always have all the answers...this is what started all this in the first place. BLAME ME AGAIN
I see why no contact is important. Since he got no emotions out of me on the phone he had to throw in a nasty comment. I'm sure he knows me...and of course I am now dwelling on that one stupid remark.
Why is it that we spend our time always wondering if we were to blame. I'm so tired of always questioning myself if I was the abusive one. I wrote down all the things he said or did. A lot of the things were subtle. Like I bought a new perfume....it was expensive...and I already had a cheap one that I didn't like. He told me the new one was awful. Likes the cheap one...makes me smell like a whore. Am I just used to being put down by men that it takes me forever to see even these types of put downs?
So I had some sort of dream about him last night...can't remember the details of it....but I woke up saying honey wake up....thinking he was there. It was my dog and it just hurt that this is where I ended up.
I don't miss him as the person.....I miss the thought of what I wanted and am truly disappointed and let down.
I deleted all his photos last night from FB. There were so many....all of such good times. But in each of them I could see the arrogance in his face and almost like some psychotic look in his eyes. Maybe because I am seeing him for the first time as a really angry man. I think I'm becoming angry now too. I seem to be snapping at my sons for things I don't mean to. I'm edgy. Stressed about all this.
Venting....I know I'm all over the place. And this is all because I let him in my head with that one statement.
I offered a solution to our problem. Of course he needs to get his way. He says to me...
Of course you always have all the answers...this is what started all this in the first place. BLAME ME AGAIN
I see why no contact is important. Since he got no emotions out of me on the phone he had to throw in a nasty comment. I'm sure he knows me...and of course I am now dwelling on that one stupid remark.
Why is it that we spend our time always wondering if we were to blame. I'm so tired of always questioning myself if I was the abusive one. I wrote down all the things he said or did. A lot of the things were subtle. Like I bought a new perfume....it was expensive...and I already had a cheap one that I didn't like. He told me the new one was awful. Likes the cheap one...makes me smell like a whore. Am I just used to being put down by men that it takes me forever to see even these types of put downs?
So I had some sort of dream about him last night...can't remember the details of it....but I woke up saying honey wake up....thinking he was there. It was my dog and it just hurt that this is where I ended up.
I don't miss him as the person.....I miss the thought of what I wanted and am truly disappointed and let down.
I deleted all his photos last night from FB. There were so many....all of such good times. But in each of them I could see the arrogance in his face and almost like some psychotic look in his eyes. Maybe because I am seeing him for the first time as a really angry man. I think I'm becoming angry now too. I seem to be snapping at my sons for things I don't mean to. I'm edgy. Stressed about all this.
Venting....I know I'm all over the place. And this is all because I let him in my head with that one statement.
You're human and if you get angry or stressed and say or do something you don't feel good about. Go give him a hug and say you're sorry.
Making the list is good. Keep it up with that. When you think you might be missing him, read it. Abuse isn't always black eyes and broken noses. Subtle psychological hurts just as much. So don't doubt yourself.
Can you go no contact or do you have to communicate with him because of the house?
I was lucky. My abuser got arrested and there is a no contact protective order. He tried several time to get that PO reduced because he knew if he got to me he could control me. That PO has saved me!
You have a lot of insight for how it happened and what happens and I think it is great and will help you recover.
I see you are quickly getting in touch with yourself again and have found your strength.
I'm not sure why I have to remind myself with a list and even question myself if it was me. He cursed at me when I was in extreme need and asked for some compassion. He flung a wooden tray and sliced my hand. What more do I need to know? I needed him and he erupted and made my pain worse. Yet I always think maybe I was at fault. Silly huh?