Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Just when I'm feeling ok. i see him in town getting gas. i didn't want to see him at all. i stopped my truck. turned it off and if looks could kill i would be in jail right now. i went on into the store and after that i felt angry...sad...abandoned....lonely...how can we feel so many feelings all at once?!!!so i was sitting waiting for my older child to come out of the store than this homeless man walks up and asked for some help. i gave him my last thirteen cents and told him 'God Bless' and he turned and walked on. my younger daughter says 'he's lost and can't find his way home. he's hungry. lets give him these apples.' So i get out so she can give him the apples but he already on his way. i don't want her to run that far. so i tell her wait for big sister to come out of the store and well go find him. so big sister comes out and we go give him the apples. and my son in law gave him a slice of cake. that man was so grateful he runs to the next car and hollers loud. 'Look what these people gave me.
i can tell you i didn't feel so angry after that. it made me think of how sometimes our children lead us instead. :')
i can tell you i didn't feel so angry after that. it made me think of how sometimes our children lead us instead. :')
Is there not a domestic violence shelter that can help you out with some food or necessities in your area? I found this # on the internet; they may be able to offer you addresses or numbers of local resources. 1-800-799-SAFE
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Re: #4, I want to share something a wise therapist once told me. Well actually, she told me over and over and over, lol.
FOCUS ON THE ACTION, NOT THE OUTCOME.
You only have control over your actions. If pressing charges means you'll be able to eat and have a place to sleep or whatever else you & your kids might need to survive, then if it were me, I would do it. By taking action, you are taking your power back.
Have you told the shelter people that he is connected? Sometimes, when charges are pressed against someone in 'power' the venue can be changed to another city.
Your shelter should also provide you with free support group meetings & a referral to a therapist who specializes in recovery from abuse for you and your kids.
You said, "So for me its a not a good thing i would end up with nothing...i just want peaceful seperation. "
I say this with great love & compassion... based on what you've posted, you have nothing now. It might help to ask yourself what do you really have to lose?
With an abuser(s), nothing will be peaceful. No matter what you do, he will not let your separation be peaceful. HOWEVER, you can create your own peace. Peace comes from within, regardless of what chaos is going on outside of you.
Wishing you safety & peace...
Just to back up some of what she said, a while ago a good friend of mine was date raped. She went to a bar with some friends, didn't drink much but next thing she knew she woke up in some guy's bed. There was a bit of other stuff, while she tried to work out if it was her fault etc, then she talked to me. We talked through whether she should go to the police or not. In the end, she did go and make a formal complaint, knowing that it was unlikely (given the evidence) that he would even be charged, let alone convicted. And as it happened, he was questioned and then it was dropped.
And she's glad. Not glad that it was dropped, but glad that she took a stand. She made the point for herself that what he did was not ok. Sure, she was disappointed it went no further than police talking to him, but she'd taken a personal stand.
Not saying that's what you should do, I'm just giving an example to back up what MTC said about the outcome not always being the goal.
and at our victims of crime his aunt is the senior supervisor and all the reports go through her. i think that report will disappear somehow
His brother in law works with our PD and has told me he knows me as a trouble maker. so I'm in a rock n a hard place.
I'm ok he hasn't contacted me at all. I have the protection of my family also. i have 24 hour watch at my house. my son in law. my bro in laws. and at work i work with the best security brothers. i will never be caught alone. they always escort me to my car. if he follows me i can always go park at someone's home and honk. I have safety plans.