Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I sent this to my ex last night and i regret it :/
his message:
I feel like you're gathering all your anger, pain, and frustration from your life, and directing it all towards me.
mine:
WHAT THE HELL?? MY LIFE?
Maybe if you don't want me to be mad at you, you shouldn't have tried to choke me and tell me you fucking hated me and would kill me if you could or maybe you shouldn't have grabbed me and try to pick me up off the bed that one time, or maybe you shouldn't have screamed at me and tried to get me to stay by pinning me down on the couch, or you shouldn't have been so ignorant towards me and put your friends before me!!!
SERIOUSLY, you expect way to much from me, you expect me to be nice to you, even though you hurt me EMOTIONALLY our whole relationship and blamed everything on me and psychically hurt me towards the end.
I did so much for you ,i cleaned, i did your laundry, washed dishes, took care of GABE while you were over at Erick's house. I gave you more freedom than most girls would, I think i have every right to be angry. All you did was treat me like a piece of dirt on the ground. And seems like you think i should be nice to you. it doesn't work that way.
You do not know what i go through on a daily basis from the memories i have in my head from you screaming at me, saying FUCK YOU, or telling me to get the fuck out of your HOUSE or you would THROW me out the door, or the time you told me you would kick me out and keep Gabe there. REALLY JON.
You expect me to be a little angel towards you? All i see is you in my mind every single day of my life now SCREAMING at me! WORD FOR WORD. I can't even sleep because of it. I wake up with my heart racing. I can't stand it anymore. It's every NIGHT.
I AM SERIOUSLY extremely sick of it.
Which is why i try and avoid you! I AM SUFFERING from Post traumatic stress disorder, I can not stand to even think about you, I shudder.
Sure you were nice to me in the beginning until i got pregnant and then you started your thing, with the emotional abuse and taking off all the time. If i have to talk to you ,hear your voice ONE MORE TIME, I am going to go over the edge. I can not stand how you treated me. You played around with my head. I'm not as stupid as i seem.
I know this response isn't going to do much, because quite frankly abusive men don't care about how the victim feels, or even care about what they did to the person, all the care about is themselves. But i had to get this out. I've been holding it in to long, and have been taking out on the people i care about the most including my mom!
I just wish you would leave me alone. Seriously. I understand we have Gabe together. BUT i can not heal if you keep bothering me when you do. Do you even understand that or are you to selfish to care?
Well i'm done for now. Think i'm a bitch, whatever you may wish, but you know who's right.
his message:
I feel like you're gathering all your anger, pain, and frustration from your life, and directing it all towards me.
mine:
WHAT THE HELL?? MY LIFE?
Maybe if you don't want me to be mad at you, you shouldn't have tried to choke me and tell me you fucking hated me and would kill me if you could or maybe you shouldn't have grabbed me and try to pick me up off the bed that one time, or maybe you shouldn't have screamed at me and tried to get me to stay by pinning me down on the couch, or you shouldn't have been so ignorant towards me and put your friends before me!!!
SERIOUSLY, you expect way to much from me, you expect me to be nice to you, even though you hurt me EMOTIONALLY our whole relationship and blamed everything on me and psychically hurt me towards the end.
I did so much for you ,i cleaned, i did your laundry, washed dishes, took care of GABE while you were over at Erick's house. I gave you more freedom than most girls would, I think i have every right to be angry. All you did was treat me like a piece of dirt on the ground. And seems like you think i should be nice to you. it doesn't work that way.
You do not know what i go through on a daily basis from the memories i have in my head from you screaming at me, saying FUCK YOU, or telling me to get the fuck out of your HOUSE or you would THROW me out the door, or the time you told me you would kick me out and keep Gabe there. REALLY JON.
You expect me to be a little angel towards you? All i see is you in my mind every single day of my life now SCREAMING at me! WORD FOR WORD. I can't even sleep because of it. I wake up with my heart racing. I can't stand it anymore. It's every NIGHT.
I AM SERIOUSLY extremely sick of it.
Which is why i try and avoid you! I AM SUFFERING from Post traumatic stress disorder, I can not stand to even think about you, I shudder.
Sure you were nice to me in the beginning until i got pregnant and then you started your thing, with the emotional abuse and taking off all the time. If i have to talk to you ,hear your voice ONE MORE TIME, I am going to go over the edge. I can not stand how you treated me. You played around with my head. I'm not as stupid as i seem.
I know this response isn't going to do much, because quite frankly abusive men don't care about how the victim feels, or even care about what they did to the person, all the care about is themselves. But i had to get this out. I've been holding it in to long, and have been taking out on the people i care about the most including my mom!
I just wish you would leave me alone. Seriously. I understand we have Gabe together. BUT i can not heal if you keep bothering me when you do. Do you even understand that or are you to selfish to care?
Well i'm done for now. Think i'm a bitch, whatever you may wish, but you know who's right.
I don't see that you said anything inappropriate.
that letter to her ex ---- and writing it all out actually was a very
good thing to do. . . . . .
but sending it (while not technically "inappropriate,"
. . . . . . is profoundly useless and potentially hazardous.
Because, not only is her ex an abuser,
based on her reference in the first
paragraph that he physically choked her
------ this abuser is a
SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS abuser.
Once a target of abuse has successfully escaped
an abuser,
any further interaction only keeps the abuser
attached
and in this case
attached and ENGAGED.
The VERY BEST action after escape from
an abuser ----- and ESPECIALLY -----
a DANGEROUS abuser. . . . .
is to FALL OFF THE RADAR SCREEN!
THAT'S why I would say to
anybody escaping or having
escaped from an abuser . . . . .
is to maintain NO CONTACT
which means NO RESPONSES!!!!!!
Wishing you all the best, Morning.
Take good care of yourself.
she's scared of him.
Which is a VERY GOOD REASON
to DISengage.
Please, survivors ------
please DON'T UNDERESTIMATE
what an abuser could or might do!!!!!!!!!
Women all over the world
are killed by their abuser
and ESPECIALLY EX's
EVERY DAY.
Write out everything you'd want to say to the ex.
Read it to your friends, over and over,
Cry, scream, howl. . . .
Make copies of it.
Then rip up one copy.
Burn another
Stomp on another.
Throw darts at his photo on a dart board.
But DON'T respond. That's what they WANT.
It keeps you ATTACHED
and accessible for
MORE ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good for you for breaking away.
Please stay safe.