Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I need a best friend. One that I can trust. So much is going on. Narcisstic husband I'm trying to divorce. Kids I'm trying to raise in the middle of so much crazy. One of which is an 18 yr old senior I'm trying to keep on the rails. I have close friends I've shared with. But. I feel like they spend a lot of time not truly empathizing or sympathizing but telling me what I should be doing. How I should be handling this or that. My favorite is when they try to relate or over involve themselves with phrases like "when we get through this divorce" "we've been thru hell lately" "when we finally get our job interview". Makes me absolutely crazy. Cause truly we have not been through any of this. I HAVE. And while they've been my friends and know what's going on. It's not the same as having your spouse...the one person who should absolutely be there for you...jerk everything away. They do not know what it is like to lose everything.
So anyway. So much going on and I just want to cry and share and stomp my foot at the injustice and not have someone judge me and tell me how to do it better.
But maybe it's just the fact I'm married to a narcissist that I no longer trust anyone. I evaluate everyone's motives. Question their faithfulness to me.
And while I'm on that subject of effects... I'm doing a research paper for sociology on the effects a narcissistic spouse has on the partner. Can anyone give me solid credited sources? Ilene?
for a moment. Good
question. I'm about to
begin my evening, but
I'll get back to you.
two very good books on the
narcissist. Both have bibliographies
and there may be some good
sources within those.
I'll get back to you
with anything close
to an answer to your
question. And by the
way, your question
is an excellent one!
If there isn't already
a study or a book
about this out there
now, there darn well
should be!!!!
For the record. . . . Biatta. . . . .
you are correct in that
people interpret and judge
situations through their own
experiences. Unless we've
done deep research into
similar situations, that's
what we have to go on.
You are also correct in that
many relationships end in
break-ups and divorces and
that these are generally
painful.
However, taking a different
tack from the gist of
your response, and
for the record,
many narcissists ARE
sociopaths, some to
a greater extent than
others.
Further, verbal, emotional
and psychological abuse
can be as devastating as
physical battery and in
fact all too frequently,
the impact of these
kinds of abuse can
be longer-lasting.
Most physical injuries
eventually heal. Emotional
injuries can be with us
from the moment they
happen to the exhalation
of our final breath.
Finally, in my opinion,
much of the rest of your
response is lacking in
compassion and empathy.
Considering that this is a
forum for support of victims
and survivors of any kind
of abuse, your response ----
while possibly well-intentioned ----
seems unfeeling and unkind.
Speaking for myself,
a life without expectation
of happiness, excitement,
motivation, satisfaction,
supportive relationships
and other aspects of the
human condition that
make getting out of
bed in the morning
worthwhile, seems
a bleak and sorrowful
way to imagine living
whatever years ahead
that may be granted
to each of us.
How we grow stronger,
heal and hopefully
recover is an individual
process with common
threads but is essentially
unique for each of us.
The healing journey
is complex and
connected with
the heart and soul
of each person.
Please be considerate
and sensitive to the
experience of each
of us here on the
forum when you
respond to someone's
thread.