Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi. I left my ex. He was hurting and impairing
me emotionally, going out with his ex, and
it really hurt! I think he really loved me
but I have a lot of problems
right now, and he does too. I am hoping that
time apart will help us, If he goes out
with other people and likes them better or not,
its all part of it. I don't want to be with
someone that is not going to treat me with care,
loyalty and respect and dignity. Life is too short
for that! Maybe sometimes, guys just need to be
let go.. then you can see what they are made of.
If he still loves me in a year or two, maybe,
if not he wasn't worth all the trouble anyway.
me emotionally, going out with his ex, and
it really hurt! I think he really loved me
but I have a lot of problems
right now, and he does too. I am hoping that
time apart will help us, If he goes out
with other people and likes them better or not,
its all part of it. I don't want to be with
someone that is not going to treat me with care,
loyalty and respect and dignity. Life is too short
for that! Maybe sometimes, guys just need to be
let go.. then you can see what they are made of.
If he still loves me in a year or two, maybe,
if not he wasn't worth all the trouble anyway.
Here's one more:
Love is a verb.
It's what you DO.
Even if he comes back saying he loves you -------- if what he ends up DOING is disrespectful, then (if you value your precious life), you will keep on walking.
All the best to you.
Ilene
Someone who has cheated on you, and hurt you very badly, and 'impaired you', has shown you how they feel about you..
He has dishonoured you, he has disrespected you, he doesn't care how you feel, and he has shown you already, that he is not going to treat you 'with care,
loyalty and respect and dignity'...
Sorry to say to you, but he has already shown you, that he does not 'love' you..by his actions, and by his behaviours.
Please don't wait for up to two years to see if he will come back and 'pick you up' again, after hes had enough of trying a few other women????
You deserve SO much better...Life IS too short for that..And YES..'he wasn't worth all the trouble anyway'...
No sadly, he wasn't...
Everyone has problems, but they don't deal with them by abusing another..Whatever your problems are, they have nothing to do with him treating you badly..His behaviours, and his actions, are his choice, and are NOT your fault..
It would never get better if he can and has already abused you like that..and dreaming that it was 'real' love, is just that. A dream.
Real love doesn't hurt like that, real love feels good, and real love doesn't destroy all your trust, or involve pain and awful abuse and disrespect..
Wait two years for 'you', because 'you' are worth it..Especially for you to realise this..and to recover from him, and to grow to expect so much better for yourself...
'Maybe sometimes, guys just need to be
let go.. then you can see what they are made of'...Also when you let go, you can fully see what 'he' was actually made of?..and hopefully then, you can, for your own wellbeing, and sake.. fully move on..
Don't wait for him. Move on with your life. Start dating again, even if it's a rebound relationship. It'll be something to turn your mind from the pain and loneliness, and also you'll be able to see how it feels in a normal relationship and it'll help you realize how WRONG your ex treated you.
crazy, isn't it? and i'm still on a string.... talking to him almost every day, emails, etc.
why do I miss it? I don't know. I have become dependent on him for validation.
The first time we broke up, I didn't cut contact with him. He insinuated his way back into my life--showing up at my door drunk needing shelter after a fight, coming to me for emotional support, insisting on seeing our hamster... etc. Anyway, despite my better judgement he weaseled his way in and we were together again. Even after the gun incident. As long as I allowed a way for him back in my life, he wouldn't go away.
The time I truly broke up with him, we remained in contact for months afterwards... because I agreed we could still be friends. Even though I rarely saw him, he would arrange for us to meet, or call me, or email me. He would comment on my facebook, on every entry of my blog. Even through those brief contacts he would still hurt me, referencing things from our past, pushing my buttons in a way that from an outside standpoint he was only trying to "help" me. I felt bad to actually block him, because these little things didn't seem like much. I did put him on "limited profile" on Facebook so he couldn't read my notes.
About 8-9 months after we broke up (I was out of the country at this point, teaching in China) I got an email from him. I had written a note on Facebook, just one saying I was feeling out of place that I'd written when I was sad... and his email was one of comfort, referencing that note. EXCEPT that I had blocked him from my notes and he obviously knew that, so it was like he was saying he had access to me whether I liked it or not. It triggered a week of flashbacks.
After that, I told him in no uncertain terms that I never wanted any contact from him again. I deleted him from Facebook, deleted all comments from him, his number, he email address, all his emails that he'd ever sent to me. It seems crazy to delete large chunks of your past, but honestly it felt cleansing. Every time I see something from him I delete it. I just found my old blog a few days ago and saw that he had commented on every, single entry, even the ones where I was saying how much I loved my new boyfriend. I happily deleted each comment.
Now he can't get at me, he can't touch my life, he can't hurt me except from the past.