Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So once again, sice I've been fighting with my friends, my wife is super supportive, and really there for me.
On the plus side, the sermon yesterday was on authority and marriage - a touchy subject, to be sure. She admitted to feeling like God was trying to communicate with her, and that she doesn't have much interest in letting me be the head of the household. Or even her equal. But she realized that, and I noticed that she declined to take communion after that sermon.
(Please note, that while I am a Southern Baptist, and do believe that the man's role is the head of the household, I do view it more as the responsibility, rather than the privlege. And that authority hinges on his being a good leader, a loving, compassionate husband, and being dedicated to wisdom and goodness - NOT descriptions of abusers.)
She's still got my list, couples session is today. We still get to go through the arguing over my bringing my daughter to my place without her go-ahead. I did catch when I asked her if she felt that she has been choosing to trust me, she countered with 'well, have YOU been choosing to trust me?' She didn't much care when I pointed out that was a deflection and reflection, looking to excuse her own behavior because of me. Specifically, she said 'well I didn't see it as a deflection.' Wondering if I should give her a card for it. If I manage to spot and prevent the damage from landing.
On the plus side, the sermon yesterday was on authority and marriage - a touchy subject, to be sure. She admitted to feeling like God was trying to communicate with her, and that she doesn't have much interest in letting me be the head of the household. Or even her equal. But she realized that, and I noticed that she declined to take communion after that sermon.
(Please note, that while I am a Southern Baptist, and do believe that the man's role is the head of the household, I do view it more as the responsibility, rather than the privlege. And that authority hinges on his being a good leader, a loving, compassionate husband, and being dedicated to wisdom and goodness - NOT descriptions of abusers.)
She's still got my list, couples session is today. We still get to go through the arguing over my bringing my daughter to my place without her go-ahead. I did catch when I asked her if she felt that she has been choosing to trust me, she countered with 'well, have YOU been choosing to trust me?' She didn't much care when I pointed out that was a deflection and reflection, looking to excuse her own behavior because of me. Specifically, she said 'well I didn't see it as a deflection.' Wondering if I should give her a card for it. If I manage to spot and prevent the damage from landing.
Don't be upset, but how strong will you have to continue to be?
I am soooooooo far from safely out of my situation, but even thought I cried my eyes out today I am now sitting in an apartment that I have not unpacked yet and I still dig in garbage bags for basic clothing because I self loath when I have time to unpack....I see your struggle and (can I say?) pain.
I do send prayers and support your way.
I've been there for 5 years, pouring my time, money, blood, sweat, and tears into that company.
They wanted me to promise that I would not go and see the current show, because they felt sure that my old friend j would go bananas, spoil the show, and possibly call the police to have me escorted away. So the only solution was for me to promise not to see the show. I was still conflicted - I had good reasons to see it, as well as not to see it, so I refused to so promise and commit myself to one course of action or the other. I did promise to consider both sides of the argument carefully, and stated that I felt it most unfair and irrational for the only course of action to prevent another from behaving poorly was for me to alter my own course of action. Sadly, those promises were not enough to satisfy them, so they called a secret board meeting, blamed my year of depression, my cutting, my tension with my wife, my stay in the looney bin, and this failure to 'reassure them that I had the best interests of the company at heart' to justify banishing me.
I can't help but think that a lot of this is due to my old friend charles, who has been lobbying hard to convince everyone I'm a hide-in-the-bushes, peep-in-the-windows, slit your throat and make a doll with your hair level madman. All the better to keep his girlfriend safe from. And angry at me. He's got more than a few narcissistic tendancies, himself. Far more than even my wife.
Also, my wife informed me she has been planning a trip to Disneyland with the kids and her parents in November. I am not welcome. We went to disney for our honeymoon, our tenth anniversary, and almost every year since the kids were born. That's our family vacation.There's a fair amount of sorrow and grief there, but at least she admitted that it would mean that I was free to plan my own trips with the kids without her.
Just... not a very good day. Yeah, I worked my way down my list of safety. I did make it all the way down to self-harm. But I'm doing better at not doing it. It's been more than a month since the last incident.
Not a good day at all.
I'm so, so sorry!
Please know that
life DOES get better.
Sending you prayers
for all things better in
your life.