I'm feeling really worthless right now. I've been through abusive relationships before and I can give advice to others, but I don't have the strength to deal with everything right now. I have juvenile diabetes, (poorly controlled), constant asthma flare-ups, (or bronchitis), sinus infections, fibromyalgia, have been battling ongoing fungal infections, swollen tonsils and lymph nodes, pre-cancerous cervical cell (Already has two procedures to remove these. Next step is a partial hysterectomy) I have been to every specialist and no one knows what to do. I have a transgender son who has been ill and out of school for the past two months. The doctors can't figure out what to do or the don't call back. I'm on disability due to my health problems. I am currently battling bronchitis, fungal infection, swollen tonsils and lymph nodes. Being ill wrecks havoc with blood sugar levels. Over the past 6 months my boyfriend has pulled away. He tells me there is nothing I can do, but claims there is nothing wrong. If I tell him I need more support and affection he defends it. We have only been intimate 2 times in 6 months. I want to feel loved so badly. We were supposed to work on the yard yesterday and have dinner together. I woke him and 4 in the afternoon and asked if we were going to work on the yard. He yelled at me and said he didn't want to be here and wanted his own place. I said if he moved out I was going to move on. He said that was my choice. I sad I wanted to work on it. He said he didn't know what he wanted anymore and wouldn't give me a definitive answer. I told him if he wasn't in love with me then he needs to tell me. So he did. Later he said I forced him to say that. He said he needed his own place to work on his own "stuff" I thought we were a couple. I can't make it financially without him paying his share of the bills plus I really don't want to give up. I basically begged him to stay. I have to beg for compliments, appreciation, even sex. I feel so pathetic and don't know what to do anymore. I quit drinking a long time ago and quit smoking 6 months ago after 26 years of smoking, except for the vape pen. The emotional pain is so great that I have resorted to cutting. I have been to counseling but that can't fix my financial issues We've been to about 4 total couples counseling sessions with 3 different counselors, every time they suggest him doing something for the relationship then he feels they are trying to control him. I'm at a loss and have no support from family and only have one friend that is unbiased and she is busy with her own life. I'm sorry about the long post.