Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
hi i'm new here, i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years, i got with him when i was 17, by the time i turned 18 i wanted to go out and do the usual teenage stuff, drink party LIVE! but unfortunately i wasn't ALLOWED to. i had to literally beg to be able to go out with friends, i remember one night vividly, it was 1 a.m. on a saturday night, he had gone to bed, so i thought i'd go see what my friends were up to because they were all out having fun, so i did, not ten minutes later, he was calling me, asking where i was, i told him and he flipped, he complained that i told him that i would spend the night with him, so i explained that he had goneto bed, no big deal, so then he drove around looking for me, and when he got home he slept in his car in the driveway so that he would know exactly what time i got home, this got worse and worse into my 19 and 20's. now, i had always wanted to be a bar attendant, and one of my friends owned a night club, i begged him for years to give me a job, finally when i was 20 my friend called me and offered me a job, i said yes straight away, i was ecstatic, so i called my bf, and told him the great news, he lost it, told me that my friend only wanted me to work for him so he could sleep with me, and that i had to make a choice him or the job. i chose the job and never looked back, but now i'm 22, and it seems that everytime i try a new relationship i subconcsiously will find a point in someones personality that even shows a glimmer of my ex and i run, i'm afraid that this will haunt me and i will never be able to live in a happy realationship, i also watched my mother being physically abused since i was a child right up to the time i was 17-18, and she's still stuck with him, i think that also addas to my fears, i don't want to be stuck with someone that hurts me because i know how hard it is to get away. so thats my story. i hope i can make some friend here, and i hope we can try to help each other, at least support each other when times get rough. xx
Yes your mother's relationship adds to your fears as it created them in the first place. The truth is you've lived through abuse at least twice, once at the hands of your mother's relationship and once at the hands of your boyfriend. Well done you for getting out of the 2nd, now you need to deal with the first. You know now that abuse in any form is wrong. But you have now done what I did, you are hypersensitive to anything that even remotely resembles it. Is there a man in your life now? I have an amazing partner now, but it took me all 7 years of our relationship to be able to tell him what happened in my abusive marriage. It is not because he wasn't open to hearing it, it was because I couldn't face it. I am now struggling through PTSD but at least now I have the loving support of a man I adore.
Long story short honey, give everyone a break but stay safe. It is a very thin line to draw - I know. But it is a necessary one.
thank u for replying.