You have lots of support here - we know how hard what your doing is and that it can be extremely painful, but living with an abuser is also hard and painful - you did the right thing. If you are worried about going back to get your things, see if you can get someone to come with you - whatever you have to do to feel safe.
Leaving is hard but it will get better.

This is a very hard situation since it involves kids.
You did the right thing to leave, don't doubt that. The best for your children and yourself. Now, about his child maybe when you have gotten settled somewhere, I say take him to court and see if you can get any sort of contact with him. But knowing the abusers and the fact that you are not his biological mother it probably will be very hard to get any access. If that is so, then you just have to pray that this little boy will be happy and that the father will treat him well. If you have proof that he has been abusive towards him and not a stable parent, then you can go to court or talk to a lawyer and see what you can do.

To get your stuff back from the house just go and get the police or a few friends to be there when you do so. That way you are safe. I say the police option is better.

Good luck. Right now things are a mess for you but you will see that eventually your life and that of your kids will be SO much better and abuse free. You did a great thing, you need to be proud of yourself!

Hugs

You did the right and safe thing, not only for yourself, but, for your children as well. You do not have anything to feel bad about, it's him, not you! You left an abusive relationship, you are strong. I hope you can go to your nearest domestic violence shelter. They will help you. This is what I did. Twelve years later,and I never let anyone hurt me again!! My boyfriend is great. He has been better to me than my own father. When I started to work on me, my life changed. Therapy really helped.I started to attract a better kind of person to me. When I started to like myself, I respected myself, and others started to as well. I had boundries, and learned self care. And you will too. Please be careful with your abuser. They will pull so many tricks to get you back. But then when you go back, the violence is worse, not better. Stay on this site! At one time or another, we all have been where you are, right now. The people on here are awesome. Stay safe! There is an angel on your shoulder...that's me.

Thank you so much for all of your support and kind words, it much appreciated and needed. You are all a wonderful support system.

I have been in close contact with am abused women's shelter in my area. I will be starting therapy next week.

On another note, the man i left was very abusive to the mother of his older son whose mother (the gma) now works at this shelter and she knows exactlt what i am dealing with!

I know i have done the right thing Im just having a rough time feeling like i really did! This just stinks!

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling bad for leaving him. It sounds like it's not HIM that you feel so bad for, but his kid. It makes sense. You obviously care for his son and only want the best for him. Try to find peace in the fact that you're doing what is best for yourself and your kids. It may take a little time for the kid to realize that you left because of his father, but he will eventually know this. He will be ok. Know that too. Hang in there, and keep going to therapy once you begin. It will help immensely! If you don't feel a connection with the first therapist, keep searching until you find one you can feel comfortable opening up to.

Everything probably seems scary and uncertain right now, but soon you will have peace in your life.

Gosh, I hope I don't sound like a fortune cookie. I think you listened to your gut instinct and that's very smart.

Perhaps even some if that stuff you left behind, u can replace down the line, or someone else can pick-up for u.

Wow, what a coincidence about his ex working at the shelter. I hope things work out for you and your children.

Good. You are an adult and have made some adult choices. Don't use the little boy as an excuse to go back. Rather inform child welfare and let them keep an eye on how the kiddie is doing. A confidential talk to his head mistress will also be good. You have walked away, now please keep on walking. You will manage your own life - just as you coped before you met the B/F. You are exactly a result of the choices you make...so coolly decide who and what YOU need, then get on with the business of focusing on that. Sorry love, this is a bit of tough love!