Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Gifts from his mom, and letters..fb requests and messages from his friends, texts and phone calls from him, never knowing who is who and when it will come again...my nerves are shot.
He has the ex girlfriend who lives just a block away in his own town to have whenever he wants her at his beck and call? Why is he bothering me?
I am on my way to working on me, the way he always gave me grief over the fact that I always put everyone else before me, including him. What did I like to suffer? I am finally taking time for me..I had my hair colored yesterday, it looks real nice and for me to say that is a BIG thing, it is cut, I got a spray tan..I did something finally for ME.
I havent been to a beauty shop for probably a year I bet, I even cut my own bangs and trim my ends by pulling my hair into a ponytail.
I am finally getting to see a specialist for my headaches, willing to meet someone halfway so that I don't agree to let my abuser take me..I am doing things myself, so WHY is he buggin me NOW.
I am ready to give up.. :(
He has the ex girlfriend who lives just a block away in his own town to have whenever he wants her at his beck and call? Why is he bothering me?
I am on my way to working on me, the way he always gave me grief over the fact that I always put everyone else before me, including him. What did I like to suffer? I am finally taking time for me..I had my hair colored yesterday, it looks real nice and for me to say that is a BIG thing, it is cut, I got a spray tan..I did something finally for ME.
I havent been to a beauty shop for probably a year I bet, I even cut my own bangs and trim my ends by pulling my hair into a ponytail.
I am finally getting to see a specialist for my headaches, willing to meet someone halfway so that I don't agree to let my abuser take me..I am doing things myself, so WHY is he buggin me NOW.
I am ready to give up.. :(
Abuse is all about power and control. Nothing else. It's not about love or care, or anything, but having power and control over their little world.
So, if he can upset you by communicating with you, then...he's happy. He lives for that crap.
That's why NO CONTACT is so important. Don't take his calls, don't read his texts, block his number, block his email...NO CONTACT. Only when you can live your daily life without the monster pulling your chain and making you spin around the middle of the room, can you begin to feel the true blessing of freedom.
Don't give up. Just don't give in. Continue taking care of yourself. Continue your search to rediscover that girl you left behind. You'll find her...and you will love her. Let him go play his games with someone else. No contact. And no reaction to anything he does.
Big hugs, you'll get through this. Just keep going to the light.
It will get easier - this truly is the hardest part.
I don't know how he could know if he is upsetting me, but maybe he does somehow? I am really trying to remain NC, but to be honest, lately it has been hard and I am not sure why? Perhaps because this nuerologist was one he found for me and he seemed to want me to get the help.
On the checklist was have you ever been emotionally, physically or sexually abused? I had checked yes. When the doctor asked me about it, and asked which one, I answered all of them. I did not go into detail, but she only knows of the last case. This is a repeat and I think I just can't rebound and be strong like I have before.
She had given me a phone number of a pyschologist, but it is in the city, so not sure what I will do as of yet. Sadly, the person that could take me easily is also the person who did so much mental/emotional damage this last go around.
The irony of it. :(
If only he could be my friend like he says he wants to be....
As for whether he knows he is upsetting you, they are masters at observation so he knows you. He knows you very well so he knows what will upset you. And he's counting on it all being enough for you to break no contact - and he's right in that it at least has you struggling with no contact.
Please stay strong - post here or pm me or someone else, or call a friend ... anything but contacting him. He's not your friend, he's a snake who will only turn around and bite you again.