Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
well i dont know why it has taken so long but i have started to eventually see what he really is , a nasty coniving manipulative angry and controilling SOB....lol....
i have done nothing but research witholding , gaslighiting , countering , hoovering.....
whats really sad is this........he uses these tactics everyday on me and i havent even realised all these 27 years and then i wonder why im ill?
its just made me realise how strong i am?
and what a waste of a life on a no mark?
cant wait to get out
i have done nothing but research witholding , gaslighiting , countering , hoovering.....
whats really sad is this........he uses these tactics everyday on me and i havent even realised all these 27 years and then i wonder why im ill?
its just made me realise how strong i am?
and what a waste of a life on a no mark?
cant wait to get out
And yeah, everything they did to try to hurt us, just made us stronger, and more independent. We are AWESOME!!!
Congratulations on figuring it out!!! Can't wait til you are out too!!!
ok its taken a long time-but that will make your life without him even more precious.
i cany wait for you to get out,please keep posting and telling us how you are getting on-i love when people become free again.
to live their own lives-soon you will have your indipendence back,your identity and your own opinions
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
good luck
Isn't clarity breathtaking!!!!!!!!!!!!
A couple things to do and not do:
Not do:
Don't begin acting differently.
Maintain status quo. Don't
do anything, even subtlely,
to make him think anything's
different.
Don't try to enlighten him about
what he is.
Don't try to enlighten him about
ANYTHING.
Whatever you feel and whatever
you want to share about what
you're learning and what you're
feeling . . . . . share it ELSEWHERE
with ANYONE BUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As you begin to put your plans
into place, keep everything on
the surface just as it's been.
Make a SAFETY PLAN.
Whatever plans you're putting
into place, the priority is to stay
alive and safe. Abusers who
realize their victim is escaping
are capable of ANYTHING, to
prevent that from happening.
Be prepaired for a day when
you wake up with doubts about
leaving. Have your memories
of abuse close at hand. No
journey is a straight line.
There are always zig-zags.
Know that life free from
the gulag of abuse is
AWESOME.
Take good care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be glad that you were able to take off your glasses; so many never, ever get out or see what it going on.
You are strong and you can do what you need to do to get strong and get out.
Hugs to you for better days ahead.
Everyday....Every single day, he tries and tries to set me off. My husband's thing is to say something derogatory( but of course in a nice way) and then when I brought the subject up about how it offended me......the crazy bullshit would begin.
A conversation that could have been over in 5 minutes lasted hours, while I sat there and listened to how f'd up I was and what about all the sh*t I do that he never says anything about ( till now of course) all while I would be begging him to understand what I was trying to say, and to get back on the topic, blah blah blah.....
Anyway, now I am more aware of his tricks, I am much better at not getting sucked in....