Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I had a job interview today that was challenging. The interviewer was rude with intermittent niceness. The questions she asked was intimidating to me because I wasnt quite sure how to answer them and I felt like I wasnt qualified enough.for the job. Eventhough I know her behavior had nothing to do with me (because obviously she was in a mood when she walked in), I still took it personally. And to add to it, the recruiter came in, told me the interviewer said I did well and asked if She could contact HR for my jobs. Because I didnt want to seem like I.had something to hide, I said yes. So now I might not get the job because I didnt have the best performance on the jobs.due to my issues and troubles along the way. Sigh. I felt wounded and defeated.
To add insult.to "injuries", I got lost going back home and could not get the proper.directions on mapquest (and gps never worked well for me in the past), so I started to get a little anxious and frantic. I know I should have asked for directions but I didnt want to look stupid. Eventually, I found my way but during the process came all the negative internal talk which made me feel worse. I started thinking about all the situations I did not excel, the time I said something wrong (and also stupid) on an online group and the female members attacked, me being overweight and battling with bad skin, etc. All this talking was overwhelming me and me increasing feel worse about myself.
While trying to find my way home, I asked myself to myself "Where is all this coming from?" It took me some time to figure it out and I realized that it comes from my childhood. I was ridiculed by mother for not knowing things she never taught, by others for not being pretty.enough and dealt with some workplace bullying in which a male trainer took part in it and eventually put the last nail in my coffin to have me pushed out of the organization by termination,.just to name a few.
After telling myself something I learned along the way that "somebody else's opinion of me does not matter", I started giving myself pep talks that everyone makes mistakes and that I am not the only one who has gotten lost and who is'dealing with issues. Eventually I felt better but the emotional aspect came into play because the.process took a lot of my energy and therefore I was tired. Coming home I wanted to cry off and on, and when I feel got home, eventually I started to cry (and I still am now).
It is difficult being on this emotional rollercoast. One moment I feel on type of the world, then another moment I am down int he dumps and feeling bad about myself. And all it takes is for something bad or just negative to happen and I am sent spiraling downhill. Sigh.
I know this is something I will be struggling with for years. So I have made work cut out for me. I thought about finding a therapist but I realized I had 4 in the past. And trying to find one that was half way decent was very draining and my depression worsened. Sigh. So to lessen my anguish I have decided to try the best I can to continue to help myself.
In the meantime, I dont know how I am going to manage with my issues and working with people who are toxic and hateful. Sigh. God give me the strength because I have no one but you.
Does anyone here know where I am coming from? If so, how do you cope?
To add insult.to "injuries", I got lost going back home and could not get the proper.directions on mapquest (and gps never worked well for me in the past), so I started to get a little anxious and frantic. I know I should have asked for directions but I didnt want to look stupid. Eventually, I found my way but during the process came all the negative internal talk which made me feel worse. I started thinking about all the situations I did not excel, the time I said something wrong (and also stupid) on an online group and the female members attacked, me being overweight and battling with bad skin, etc. All this talking was overwhelming me and me increasing feel worse about myself.
While trying to find my way home, I asked myself to myself "Where is all this coming from?" It took me some time to figure it out and I realized that it comes from my childhood. I was ridiculed by mother for not knowing things she never taught, by others for not being pretty.enough and dealt with some workplace bullying in which a male trainer took part in it and eventually put the last nail in my coffin to have me pushed out of the organization by termination,.just to name a few.
After telling myself something I learned along the way that "somebody else's opinion of me does not matter", I started giving myself pep talks that everyone makes mistakes and that I am not the only one who has gotten lost and who is'dealing with issues. Eventually I felt better but the emotional aspect came into play because the.process took a lot of my energy and therefore I was tired. Coming home I wanted to cry off and on, and when I feel got home, eventually I started to cry (and I still am now).
It is difficult being on this emotional rollercoast. One moment I feel on type of the world, then another moment I am down int he dumps and feeling bad about myself. And all it takes is for something bad or just negative to happen and I am sent spiraling downhill. Sigh.
I know this is something I will be struggling with for years. So I have made work cut out for me. I thought about finding a therapist but I realized I had 4 in the past. And trying to find one that was half way decent was very draining and my depression worsened. Sigh. So to lessen my anguish I have decided to try the best I can to continue to help myself.
In the meantime, I dont know how I am going to manage with my issues and working with people who are toxic and hateful. Sigh. God give me the strength because I have no one but you.
Does anyone here know where I am coming from? If so, how do you cope?
I was given a battered copy of HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by a salesman friend of an uncle, and THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING by a lawyer neighbor that used it to keep himself confident in court. Both are a good start.
The trick is to disengage your feelings from what you say, how you say it, and your body language. It's acting!
Communication with others is NOT about expressing our feelings. It's about getting people to do what we want them to do. Express feelings to friends, be a salesman to the rest of the world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btBw70HAys4 when you have time, watch this, it's a great crash course in all of this, made for business students.
Another one, one of the best pep talks ever recorded. It has saved my life on several occasions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL9528Gohe0
And this also has some connection to this, but also I think it's funny enough it may help you RIGHT NOW.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePowerOfActing
Lol. I wish I was in my 20's again because thereare many things I would like to do over. Since I cant go back in time, I will start from now and look into these resources you gave me. :)
Always a pleasure, Richard.