Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
hello all,
I recently left a relationship of 20 years because he was netally unstable (he had always had some issue but last year admitted to having a mental illness). When I asked he said "it's not bipolar" which to me said "bipolar". We have a 18 yr old daughter. I can now admit that we should have NEVER ever been together EVER.
There were signs early on that I noticed but didn't think they were that big. Boy what I wouldn't give to go back 20 years BUT still have my daughter. There were a few minor physical altercations but not of it was mental/emotional. I was talk only about the past year because that is why out daughter and I left under the colk of darkness. He doesn't know where we are.
Well, i do need to go back a bit further. We never slept in the same room (his doing) and had seperate lives ... again his doing. So it boils down to us never really having a relationship. He treated me and our daughter the same ... neglecting us except for when he needed or wanted something.
Her and I are EXTREMELY close. Three years ago she got really sick (and I thought she was dying). He was not there for her and I. At that poin i cut off all feelings for him. I think the last time I had slept with him had been months before that so no big deal to me. I just concentrated on work and my daughter.
Now in my mind we are not together and Im sure he thinking the same thing but like most men he didn't want me until he thought someone else did. I could have cared less who he was with. As long as he came with his half of the household bills.
Last year I found out that he cosigned for a car for some chick at work that he swore he wasn't fucking. Yeah right. It was the issue of them being together it was the issue of mail coming to where i lived with another girl name on it. We had a rule to not let whatever we did in the street touch home. He had broken that rule and i was out for blood.
He lied about the car for months.
The next month he saw my truck somewhere it should not have been and lied to get me outside. Long story short he snatched my keys out my ignition after i tried to leave and when i reached in his pocket from behind to get my keys he grabbed my arm and slammed me to the ground.
He is such a bitch because instead of admitting what he did he sad i tripped. OH OK. I was able to call the police to hold him at that scene until i could get my daughter out of the house. We stayed gone for a few days.
Our daughter stopped speaking to him for a long time. His behavor after that incident is what put the wheels in motion to use disappearing. He started drinking. he started walking around with this big ass knife, he disappeared twice for 3-4 days but went to work... claiming he was going to kills himself but never did.
To sum all this up, I transferred to a different location within my company, she is in school out of state (he thinks she is in state), her and i have an apt and only my parents have the address to.
I have been having nightmares lately that he found me. I am going to talk to someone to work through that cuz his ass doens't get to cause any more grief. That is why i left. It has been 3 months.
Morale of the story, you can get out but you must do it like a CIA mission. Get a po box to forward your mal, transfer locations for your job (you cna not disappear from home and work at the same place). Don't tell everyone your plans only those you can trust with your life literally. Months prior we started throwing away whatever we didn't plan on taking with us and packing up (our bedrooms were upstairs and his was downstairs. It tooks us 6 days to move everything. he found out when he got home that Saturday after i had the movers move my furniture. I only took what I paid for. And i didn't take food, dishes, towels or any of that kind of stuff.
I recently left a relationship of 20 years because he was netally unstable (he had always had some issue but last year admitted to having a mental illness). When I asked he said "it's not bipolar" which to me said "bipolar". We have a 18 yr old daughter. I can now admit that we should have NEVER ever been together EVER.
There were signs early on that I noticed but didn't think they were that big. Boy what I wouldn't give to go back 20 years BUT still have my daughter. There were a few minor physical altercations but not of it was mental/emotional. I was talk only about the past year because that is why out daughter and I left under the colk of darkness. He doesn't know where we are.
Well, i do need to go back a bit further. We never slept in the same room (his doing) and had seperate lives ... again his doing. So it boils down to us never really having a relationship. He treated me and our daughter the same ... neglecting us except for when he needed or wanted something.
Her and I are EXTREMELY close. Three years ago she got really sick (and I thought she was dying). He was not there for her and I. At that poin i cut off all feelings for him. I think the last time I had slept with him had been months before that so no big deal to me. I just concentrated on work and my daughter.
Now in my mind we are not together and Im sure he thinking the same thing but like most men he didn't want me until he thought someone else did. I could have cared less who he was with. As long as he came with his half of the household bills.
Last year I found out that he cosigned for a car for some chick at work that he swore he wasn't fucking. Yeah right. It was the issue of them being together it was the issue of mail coming to where i lived with another girl name on it. We had a rule to not let whatever we did in the street touch home. He had broken that rule and i was out for blood.
He lied about the car for months.
The next month he saw my truck somewhere it should not have been and lied to get me outside. Long story short he snatched my keys out my ignition after i tried to leave and when i reached in his pocket from behind to get my keys he grabbed my arm and slammed me to the ground.
He is such a bitch because instead of admitting what he did he sad i tripped. OH OK. I was able to call the police to hold him at that scene until i could get my daughter out of the house. We stayed gone for a few days.
Our daughter stopped speaking to him for a long time. His behavor after that incident is what put the wheels in motion to use disappearing. He started drinking. he started walking around with this big ass knife, he disappeared twice for 3-4 days but went to work... claiming he was going to kills himself but never did.
To sum all this up, I transferred to a different location within my company, she is in school out of state (he thinks she is in state), her and i have an apt and only my parents have the address to.
I have been having nightmares lately that he found me. I am going to talk to someone to work through that cuz his ass doens't get to cause any more grief. That is why i left. It has been 3 months.
Morale of the story, you can get out but you must do it like a CIA mission. Get a po box to forward your mal, transfer locations for your job (you cna not disappear from home and work at the same place). Don't tell everyone your plans only those you can trust with your life literally. Months prior we started throwing away whatever we didn't plan on taking with us and packing up (our bedrooms were upstairs and his was downstairs. It tooks us 6 days to move everything. he found out when he got home that Saturday after i had the movers move my furniture. I only took what I paid for. And i didn't take food, dishes, towels or any of that kind of stuff.
Great work.
For the nightmares. . . . .
try calling this number:
(217) 789-2830
It's the number for your
state's women's resources.
They may be able to provide
you with a counselor, with
whom you can talk.
You did sooooo well,
getting out with your
life an your sanity.
Take good care of yourself!
((((HUGS))))
We took everything that belonged to use so we were ok with that. If we would have taken his stuff it would have been a constant reminder of him which we didn't want or need. And when we lived there we couldn't fet girly colors but when we went shopping we got the brightest colors we could find. Lol