Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I left my abusive, alcoholic BF almost 8 weeks ago. It has been a huge struggle with so many emotions.
I missed him, I ached for him even though I new he would abuse me again, I felt like a loser, like I would never have a life, like I would never have love. I've been incredibly lonely.
He pulled all my strings to get me back. He became ill. He cried. He promised to change. He said he needed me. He said I was a piece of crap & had wasted his time. He told me what a horrible thing I did to him. He talked about suicide. His son called me many times crying, worried about him.
I've gone to a crisis center. I've gone to a counselor. I've used Xanax and anti-depressants. I've cried. I've had sleepless nights. I've tried no contact. I've called him. I've texted him. I've gone to see him. I let him vent. I got mad and said the truth.
Time is on my side.
I am so much better. I think of him less and less. I don't count the hours until the day can end. I don't need a Xanax to make it through the day. The guilt and worry over him is going away. I have so much more freedom. I am slowly learning a different way to live. I am doing things that I like, things that I did before him.I am spending time with my family.
I am getting my life back.
The one thing that kept me going, that kept me from going back, was the complete and total knowledge that I could not do anything to make him better. That being with him would only make me worse. That the abuse would never end. It would only get worse.
I put my needs above his. I deserve to do this and so does each of us.
If you do not love yourself - If you do not take care of yourself, you cannot expect your abuser to do this for you. Abusers hurt. God Bless
I missed him, I ached for him even though I new he would abuse me again, I felt like a loser, like I would never have a life, like I would never have love. I've been incredibly lonely.
He pulled all my strings to get me back. He became ill. He cried. He promised to change. He said he needed me. He said I was a piece of crap & had wasted his time. He told me what a horrible thing I did to him. He talked about suicide. His son called me many times crying, worried about him.
I've gone to a crisis center. I've gone to a counselor. I've used Xanax and anti-depressants. I've cried. I've had sleepless nights. I've tried no contact. I've called him. I've texted him. I've gone to see him. I let him vent. I got mad and said the truth.
Time is on my side.
I am so much better. I think of him less and less. I don't count the hours until the day can end. I don't need a Xanax to make it through the day. The guilt and worry over him is going away. I have so much more freedom. I am slowly learning a different way to live. I am doing things that I like, things that I did before him.I am spending time with my family.
I am getting my life back.
The one thing that kept me going, that kept me from going back, was the complete and total knowledge that I could not do anything to make him better. That being with him would only make me worse. That the abuse would never end. It would only get worse.
I put my needs above his. I deserve to do this and so does each of us.
If you do not love yourself - If you do not take care of yourself, you cannot expect your abuser to do this for you. Abusers hurt. God Bless
AWESOME.
Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And also. . . .
WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Thanks for sharing
your experience.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for all
good things in the
days ahead.
Amen to everything you said, especially,
"The one thing that kept me going, that kept me from going back, was the complete and total knowledge that I could not do anything to make him better. That being with him would only make me worse. That the abuse would never end. It would only get worse."
You are EXACTLY 110% ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
And good for you for putting your needs first!
You are a true inspiration! You shine light at the end of the tunnel and offer hope to those who have none.
ROCK ON!!!
It's a great thing that you have managed to return his baggage to him. You are not responsible for his chaos and should not carry it.
I'm really glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels that I'm getting my life back on track and slowly trying to enjoy things again and connecting with people.
I commend your perseverance and hope that I am able to follow your example.
A few other things that I think helped me this time were.
I told people, counselors, friends and family. I told them what I was going through and that I knew I had an unhealthy attachment to him. I told them I could not promise to never go back, which at that time I couldn't, but that I would do everything I could to stay away. I got on my knees and prayed more than I ever have before.
also I think very important, I stopped putting myself down for having gone back to him before. I forgave myself for my past poor choices. I have read so much on this site the importance of loving one's self. I cared for myself like I would a good friend.
I trust myself again to keep myself safe from him and that is wonderful. If I can do this, so can you. Even if you've tried before. Never give up on yourself.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!