Over the weekend I made a huge mistake. I slept with my abusive ex and wish I had not. He asked me to come and see him he needed to talk to me and he missed me. Well I was like okay. I know it was wrong but i did it and I have no one to blame but me. Well we were talking about our son and some other stuff and then he started to get disrespectful and childish. I asked him a long time ago do not talk to me about your ex-girlfreind. He was blaming me for their break up. When I had nothing to do with it. So the other night he kept making little comments. For instance I asked him where he got his watch from and he was like my girlfriend bought it and dont touch it she will get mad and beat your ass. Then he would grab me and kiss me and say oh maybe I shouldnt do that cause my girlfreind will get mad and then he would start to laugh. Then I was like well why dont you go to her and stop fucking with me. After we had sex he said I shouldnt have done that my girl is going to come hurt you. Its like how childish can you be and no one wants to hear that after you have just slept with them. I feel like that was very disrespectful and I felt like I was a hoe or something. Its like I am the mother of your child not some hoe off the street I deserve respect. So the next day I called him out on it and he BLEW UP! I told him you were totally disrepectful to me and and you dont care about my feelings at all and he was like fuck you and your feelings. He told me to "PLAY MY POSITION" which made me feel so bad. He told me I was too emotional and I said so you dont understand how that affected me he was like no. I was like so are you back with her and he was like thats none of your fucking business. I was like thats none of my buisness but you can tell me that I cant have anyone until my son turns 18 yrs old. you make it your buisness to tell me when to come home. He calls me in the middle of the night to see where im at. If i dont answer the phone he will tell me thats my ass. Im so sick of this. Its like when am i going to realize he does not care about me at all. Just two weeks ago he was telling me that he loved me and appreciated me and now he is saying he cant tell me he loves me cause I take it too far. He apologized to me a while back for talking to me the way he does and said he dosent mean to its just the way it comes out. You are still doing the same crap. He told me that I expect him to make me top priority and he told me im not and thats when he said play your position. That made me feel so bad about myself. Ive done soo much for him. He is so up and down you never really know with him. He told me a while ago that I wasnt supportive of him and I didnt love him so im trying to prove to him and he act like this. What am i doing to myself. I feel like im about to have a nervous break down behind him. I have a son to take care of. I cant go down. Right now I feel insecure and down on myself and soooo depressed. I cant stop crying.He speaks so highly of the other girl but he acts like im just anything to him. I was with him for three years. Then the girl is so pretty and that makes me feel even worse. He told me that because she is hispanic she knows how to treat her men and I wouldnt have a clue about that because black woman these days dont know how to treat there men. I know I shouldnt be jealous of her but I am. DS I need some good advice. I need to completely cut him out my life I just cant do this anymore. I need support. GOD BLESS.