Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members

27,933 Posts

0 Online

blessed19 08/12/2011

Ive been on here alot in the past sharing things about my emotionally abusive relationship with my sons father. We havent been together since 07 but we still stayed in eachother lives which resulted with my son being born in the summer of 2008. I swear there is something wrong with him. Just a summary for those who dont know he was very controlling manipuilative. He wanted to isolate me from everyone. Anytime i tried to spend time with my family he says I am more into my family than I am to him. He threatned my life a couple of times. Im still here loveing him for some reason. Well we dont talk much anymore but when we do i always end up right back at square one hurt again. Back in June he sends me a text saying that he was really sorry for ruining my life and he felt bad for all the things he did to me. He also tells me he is still in love and nobody makes him feel the way I do. Well I fell for it. Well i have so much anger inside of me towards him and its ruining my life. He text me lastnight asking how me and my son were doing i was like we are fine. Then I decided to call and just get things off my chest maybe release some of this built up anger inside. I asked him why he treated me the way he has all these yrs. He told me and I quote "ANYWAY I TREATED YOU IS THE WAY YOU DESERVED THEN AND NOW CAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS MORE INTO YOUR FAMILY THEN ME SO LEAVE THAT WHERE IT IS. So how do you go from apologizing to me and feeling bad for what you did to thinking I deserved all of it. Something is def not right but I know this and im still here loving him. I dont get it I feel so lost right now. Anyones advice would be greatly appreciated. One minute I hate him and wishing he would fall off the face of the fucking earth then the next im crying because im missing him and love him. I just want to get back to the od me when i didnt take shit from a man. How have i let one man ruin me this way. Ive let go of some really good men because of him and now i feel as if no one wants me. I feel so weak.

deleted_user 08/12/2011

I'm 13 yrs old, your story reminds me of so much of my mother. I feel like I have to tell you my story. I know I can't make you change, but here my story . My mother ex-boyfriend threaten her life too. That man ruined are lives painfully. He always wanted her to himself, I couldn't even spend time with my own mom. I'm not comparing them and I'm saying this WILL happen to you, I'm just teling a story. So, through the months of 2 years and him going to jail, everyday there was an arguement and when I wasn't there he had, pulled my mom's hair, slapped her, thru her off the bed,chip her tooth, dragged her by her hair out of a room with her friends, and even pulled her out of my grandmother's room and hit her over and over. What sadden me is that she still love him and is with a man that I feel will turn out the same. This is a story of a 13yr old girl that had an abusive ex-stepdad that disrespect the whole family.

deleted_user 08/12/2011

sorry i meant that this may NOT happen to you I just wanted to tell you how it turned out for me

blessed19 08/12/2011

Thank you for sharing your story! I am so sorry your mother had to go through that. I dont understand why we as woman deal with it.

deleted_user 08/12/2011

you feel that it's love that the man is giving you
you give him love
he gives you pain

deleted_user 08/12/2011

Emotional abusers are so very good at manipulating us. You are not alone. There are so many going thru the same thing. This is an amazing site. There are so many that care. You need to focus on yourself. i know this is so hard for you. Why we do what we do, I don't know. But once we know what we are in, i.e. an emotionally abusive relationship we are responsible to get all the information we can. I am learning he is just like that, I can't change him. All i can do is work on me. I make my choices. I want peace and happiness in my life. I don't think I will ever have that with him in the picture. It is so hard. Listen to all of the wise ones on here. I am new, not wise, and struggling too. But we are in this together.
You are not alone. ~~Hugs~~

blessed19 08/12/2011

Thank you guys so much. It just feels good to talk with people who understand where I am coming from and dont judge me!

terriann 08/12/2011

nuthin wrong wid admitting u love him but be real this aint healthy love is it and all its doing is stopping u from finding real love.so he is still the boss of u.so cum on mama snap out of it.dont bring ur son up to see this and treat u the same way later.cos he's learning this is how we do it.its not only ur life ur moulding here.i know its hard but cum on baby,just let go.xxxx

Livndadrem 08/12/2011

Please get yourself some counselling to rebuild your self esteem. Learn to love yourself and your son more than you love a man who will only ever tear you down and hurt you.

deleted_user 08/12/2011

wow......so sad you are going thru this with your baby's father......shameful!
men can sense weakness.......and then *swoop* down & game over.....

sigh.......its NOT your fault!! in the slightest.

then.........*out of babes mouths* a 14 yr old (sash) chimes in, on what she has gone thru with her mother........

im......greatly saddened and feel utterly hepless........

for sure, you are not alone.........none of us *are*........

prayers & hugs...(to you all)......aik

deleted_user 08/12/2011

Don't feel like you are alone. This is typical for a woman experiencing forms of domestic violence. I would suggest checking out the website www.rainn.org. This site can help you determine your next step. But this is very typical form of abuse. I wouldn't wait too long and I would consider a protection order.

Join the Conversation