Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
i let him convince me this week that he was going to change. Yes he's been seeing someone but he just "misses me so much". So today we he got back from out of town I went over to his house. He hugged me and held me and made love to me and I felt so calm and at peace for the first time in a long time. He said he still needed some time and he'd promised her he would come see her this evening. So I said that was fine and the kids and I invited him to stay here so he could do Easter morning with us. I was such a fool. He has her at my house. In my home. On my couch and probably later tonight in my bed... where he made love to me today. I've never hurt this bad. Never. I literally feel like I'm dying. Why would he do this to me?! Why?! I can't even feel my legs... I've cried and hyperventilated until I'm tingling all over. She's got a child 8 years younger than me. She's his mothers age. But apparently she's everything that I'm not. He chose her over his wife of 12 years. Over the wife that he harassed and begged to come back for months. I recently posted because it seemed he'd changed and I was so upset that he was doing for her what he never would for me. I let my guard down and this is where it got me. I want more than anything in the world for him to just come here but really.... I think I'm finally done because I think if he showed up I'd beat the hell out of him. He didn't have to do that. Not in the same night. Not had her at my house. Not on my furniture and watching my tv. Not after making love to me there and giving me hope for a future
What you've described is
totally despicable.
If he showed up and you
beat the hell out of him,
you'd still be attached
to him because [A] he'd
know that he got to you
and [B] you'd be arrested,
tried and probably sent
to jail for assault ----- and
that would be the opposite
of being done with him.
""""""""""""""""""""""Why would he do this to me?! Why?!""""""""""""""""""""""
I suspect you really know
the answer to your questions.
The answer is because he's
an abuser doin' his thing.
The answer to why he's an
abuser is only slightly more
complicated and lies in his
personal history, probably
starting with his family of
origin. Those answers
are less relevant to your
immediate situation.
I'm sorry that I'm not
remembering if you've
ever said you're seeing
a counselor or therapist.
If you are, then I hope
that the work you do
there will help ease
the pain you're feeling
now.
If you don't currently
work with anyone, I
strongly suggest that
you consider doing that.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing and
better days
ahead.
in such pain.
Is there any possibility
of getting into see the
counselor tomorrow?
Have the two of you
been working on you
as an individual, you
in relationship with
this abuser or maybe
your childhood and
your family of origin?
Are you open to letting
this abuser move on in
his life in a direction
unrelated to you and
your life, at this point?
If that's the place you've
come to, maybe you can
use your next session to
work on strategies to help
you do that successfully.
Sending my best
thoughts and wishes
to you, for healing
and recovery.
Partly it's because I moved into shock and then cognitive dissonance because when and how u found out about it , it had been too much.
Now I am trying to go back and witness that I didn't trust her for awhile. I'm trying to restore my trust in my own intuition.
It's a struggle.
It's doesn't make sense to me that she didn't care about me that deeply. It still doesn't make sense to me. You're not alone.
Sending you hugs
** typos