I have been married for 4 years now, before that we dated for 4 years and it was so good in the beginning. He was the perfect guy. He was 13 years younger but just seemed to be the one I was waiting for. Then slowly as we dated it got worse. He's an alchoholic but was never verbally abusive or physical. He mainly used me for sex and saw other people. When I started to get sick of it he all of a sudden showed more interest and then asked me to marry him. I was so stupid and said yes. It took 7 days before the first verbal abuse started. It was all because we went out and I didn't want to dance. He knew I hated it when we dated but he was so pissed that I denied him. He was drunk of course. When we got home he said the most horrible things anyone has ever said to me in my life. I was shocked. It wasn't  physical at this point just verbal. It stopped for a few months but then every once in awhile it would come back. Espcially when I caught him talking to other girls and going drinking. I wanted him to cut down. He had no intension of doing this. I don't know why I let him get me pregnant. After we had the baby he was the best he had ever been. Stopped drinking for a month and it was awesome. Then he started again. I don't know how many times I have caught him texting girls, going to strip clubs and I think he has even slept with prostitutes. I can't proove it but I have seen text that make it seem like it. His friends all do, they are addicted to whores and alchohol like him. Then after the baby was born he started by pushing me and grabbing me. I would have a few bruises. Then it escolated to him hurting my foot bad by throwing a phone at it. grabbing my arms bad. All when I was trying to stop him from drinking and driving or just catching him talking to some girl. Usually when he is caught doing something bad he punishes me. Lately it's been worse than ever with the physical abuse. I don't even do anything! I rack my brain thinking what did I do to deserve all these bruises all over my arms. Its so bad, and every time I see one I want to cry. I have to wear long sleeves and make up things of why I have them. Some people I tell, but really I feel so lost and stupid. The last time on Friday he hurt me bad. I have 20 bruises all over my arms, hand and chest of him pushing me, grabbing me and throwing me back. That time he had gone out drinking. Waiting until I took the baby to bed and ran out like a little kid. I was mad and said omg no that is bs that you are leaving and doing this. He got very angry, and decided to punish me further by going to a strip club and spending 200 dollars and not coming back until 1:25am. I saw him and said what is going on. He called me every name in the book. Saying he wants a divorce and he is not legal. We are starting his papers and he says forget that I don't want your papers. That was on Wed actually not Friday, and he has been mad at me?? ever sense. Ignoring me, sleeping on the couch. He loves to ignore me and when he does answer it's usually a snap back or something rude. I am like why are u treating me like this?? I did NOTHING?? He will NEVER communicate. If I try he freaks out telling me to shut up and if I don't he will leave. He says go upstairs, like I am a kid. Last night was the first time he started kind of talking to me and slept in the bed. Now today he is ignoring my text again. I say omg I am tired of you ignoring me. He just says ok. He loves to ignore and and verbally go after me. I just don't know what to do anymore, or why I am still here?? Why didn't I call the police. What is wrong with me???? The worst part is that when he first hurt me he came back crying and saying how sorry he was. I don’t want to lose you and even bought me a new phone. Then two weeks after that he said I should’ve never apologized or got you that phone. Then the next time he kind of said he was sorry and now he won’t even talk about it or he acts like he has no remorse and is still punishing me now 5 days later by ignoring me and saying rude things. I say look what you did to me and all the bruises!! He won’t look and says nothing. Tells me to just shut up and go away. What am I doing that is so wrong.