Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I do not know how to feel about things anymore.
I met my ex boy friend on myspace about 2 years ago, and i had went out to Missouri to meet him. He was so nice to me, always gave me compliments all the time, always told me he loved me. Until I got pregnant... and it happened like 2 months after we met each other. I got pregnant too soon, and i feel like that's why he became abusive... he also had gotten into a car accident about 4 months before i met him and had gotten brain damage from that. So i really don't know... all i know is it got really bad, like a month after i had my son.. he started calling me fat, and saying i wasn't attractive anymore and all this. and he had held me down before and stuff... and then it got to the point where he wouldn't take me anywhere, so i didn't get out of the house for months at a time.. and then one day he snapped and he put his hands around my neck, while i was holding my 5 1/2 month old son and screamed I hate you i would kill you if i could.... we split up and then a month later i went and lived with my mom... and now i have anger issues and very low self esteem and on top of that i have post partum depression.... I just don't know what to do anymore... or how to feel... I feel so disgusting.
I met my ex boy friend on myspace about 2 years ago, and i had went out to Missouri to meet him. He was so nice to me, always gave me compliments all the time, always told me he loved me. Until I got pregnant... and it happened like 2 months after we met each other. I got pregnant too soon, and i feel like that's why he became abusive... he also had gotten into a car accident about 4 months before i met him and had gotten brain damage from that. So i really don't know... all i know is it got really bad, like a month after i had my son.. he started calling me fat, and saying i wasn't attractive anymore and all this. and he had held me down before and stuff... and then it got to the point where he wouldn't take me anywhere, so i didn't get out of the house for months at a time.. and then one day he snapped and he put his hands around my neck, while i was holding my 5 1/2 month old son and screamed I hate you i would kill you if i could.... we split up and then a month later i went and lived with my mom... and now i have anger issues and very low self esteem and on top of that i have post partum depression.... I just don't know what to do anymore... or how to feel... I feel so disgusting.
Please call your local women's center and ask them
what kind of support they may be able to offer you, or
if they can connect you with social services in your
area.
You wold benefit by being connected with a therapist
who specializes in Post Traumatic Stress, and/or
esteem building.
You are NOT disgusting.
You're a survivor and a precious soul
with a brand new baby depending on
your recovery from what you went through.
Please make sure you take care of yourself.
Please consider picking up the phone and
calling to find services that may help you
move forward!!!!!
You are a beautiful person with a beautiful baby that needs all the support she can get.
Please take care, you deserve to be loved.
Take care
It is NOT your fault, and it is NOT your precious baby's fault. It was not just you who had a baby - he did too. It was his responsibility as much as it was yours that you got pregnant "too soon". He had no right to treat you like that. Period.
Please do look into getting some help as soon as you can. I also was very depressed after the birth of my son, for similar reasons, and it's horrible. But you can, with help, get through it to a much better life, full of the joy of motherhood.
From my experience, the abuser gets worse the more vulnerable a woman is, whether it's with pregnancy and young children, or illness. It's like it gives them a license to beat you down more... since they can. I guess they figure they got you right where they want you. I'm not entirely sure... but what I do know is that's not right, and that's not love.
Good luck hun... and keep talking!
Please seek some counseling for yourself so you can be the best person and parent for your son. I know you feel overwhelmed and depressed, but focus on getting yourself better. You are beautiful and deserve to be loved...hugs to you.
Im going to go to the health department tomorrow and see if i can register for some help with coping with this.