Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I left my physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend a couple days ago and literally can't breathe, or stop crying. All the good memories and everything keep replaying in my head and I even tried to contact him again and all I got was him being really mean. He just told me "you took everything, I'm not doing a back and fourth, f*** you, you broke my heart." Guilt tripped me the whole time while being entirely mean and hostile. I know I made the right decision, but it just feels like I made a mistake. I had tried to give him another chance after he punched me so hard in the mouth I needed stitches. Then the night I left him, he threatened to kill his mom and I ran and stepped in the way, he told me if I didn't move, he would make me move so he could kill her. He wouldn't listen to anyone. He just blew up without any of us knowing why he was even blowing up. So I just left. He called and begged me not to go, only this time I didn't give in. He told me tonight was the night he was going to ask me to be fully his again, and make me dinner and everything would be happy. That he was going to quit the drugs, the dealing, everything. I didn't know how to believe him. He's quit before for me and it just backfired when we got into a fight 6 months after his quit date. All of this and I still can't convince myself what I did was really the right thing to do. I don't know how to stand my ground. I want him back, but I don't want comes along with him. I still really love him and can't imagine being with anyone else. I'm really lost.
You did the right thing.
What you've shared in
just this thread suggests
that this guy is
extremely disturbed
and SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS.
If you want a tool to help
you feel committed to
moving on, I recommend
you try my Clarifying Index Card
exercise. I'll bump it for you.
One of the times when the
exercise really helps is
exactly where you are
on your journey, today.
Consider giving it a try.
I know I pasted the number
for your state's women's
resources for you, on
another thread. Let
me know if you need
me to paste it in again.
Please take good care
of yourself.
Be safe keep yourself out of harms way, don't go back to this, I beg you
If you need to talk you can im me or go to the National Domestic Violence HOtline and just talk to someone 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
((((hugs)))))
I realize we're not the same people, and that your relationship isn't the same as mine was, but your ex is showing the same signs that so many others have. His behavior is proven to be dangerous, he's already shown you that. Forgiving him isn't going to teach him anything, and chances are he doesn't want to learn it anyway, because he should have learned by now how people deserve to be treated. NO ONE deserves what he did to you.
It may feel like a mistake, but trust yourself, it is not. I don't know how to explain it, but what you're feeling is not abnormal. Even if this man hurt you, you still lost something. You probably put a ton of effort into helping this guy better himself. But in the future you'll realize it was worth losing, because you CAN have better than this. He'll probably always be what he is.
I know your heart hurts but you did the right thing. You deserve someone who treats you with patience and respect. My abuser, ex abuser drinks and gets nasty when he does. So, when they are addicted to drugs or alcohol, not only are they abusive assholes, but addicts as well. Who wants to deal with that?!
I hope you feel better. I went to a women's shelter and attended some counseling sessions which helped. It sounds like your abuser has major anger management issues.
I'm at a point now where I'm mad and can say, "what gives him the right to talk like that, etc n so forth".
It takes time to go through the emotions so please be kind to yourself and don't believe any of his put downs should you have contact with him. I do advise you to stay away because, like mine, their minds believe what they want and gives them reason to physically harm you. And if not careful, it could kill you. For example, my abuser was choking me, but hiw much longer if he didn't let go wd it have taken for me to die? So, you really do hv to be careful when dealing with these abusers, narcissists, or psychopaths.