Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I see him for what he is. He's a narcissistic, double minded, forked tongued, immature, abuser.
I feel somewhat trapped now, so I have to slow down and work my plan. I know that he would completely ruin my credit rating among other things much more severe if we parted right now. Stupid me, I've cosigned for his car :(. He's a fool and would purposely not make the payments on time.. if at all... just so that he could ruin my credit. This is one of his latest threats. He's already been through bankruptcy, and is working on doing it a 2nd time.
When we met I was strong and on my own. I lived alone and my bills were payed properly. He had lost his job, was about to become homeless, and had medical issues. He didn't tell me any of this when we first met. He waited until he had me thoroughly hooked on his charm. Then he gave me those sad eyes and told me about his situation. I bought it all and took him into my home.
Since I've been with him for the past 3 years and the cost of living has gone through the roof, I couldn't possibly afford to be out on my own again at this point. But, I've signed up to get help with housing and even though it is a waiting list of 2 years I don't feel a shred of guilt about using him while I can. I'm going to be the charming one... I'm going to save money so I can be prepared. It's payback time!
So I'm training my brain to override the depression that his emotional abuse has thrown me into in the past. I'm enjoying my time while he's gone. Soaking in the tub, snuggling up on the couch in my pjs and watching the movies that I like to watch... while he's slaving away at work. Ah yes it makes me feel GOOoOOOD!
He's made a huge mistake because he's lost me. His life is going to fall apart without me to take care of him. I loved that man so much. I was loyal and never betrayed him. I waited on him hand and foot.. cooking his meals and doing his laundry. I did nearly all of the chores here at home and payed my share of the bills too. But, this bullshit has gotten old. So I'll play the game that he has played with me this whole time. I'll lie. I'll cheat. I'll look him in the eyes and pretend to care. I'll use him, because he's nothing but a means in my little game. It's going to be a much better year ahead. I've become, to him, what he's been to me. A monster.
I feel somewhat trapped now, so I have to slow down and work my plan. I know that he would completely ruin my credit rating among other things much more severe if we parted right now. Stupid me, I've cosigned for his car :(. He's a fool and would purposely not make the payments on time.. if at all... just so that he could ruin my credit. This is one of his latest threats. He's already been through bankruptcy, and is working on doing it a 2nd time.
When we met I was strong and on my own. I lived alone and my bills were payed properly. He had lost his job, was about to become homeless, and had medical issues. He didn't tell me any of this when we first met. He waited until he had me thoroughly hooked on his charm. Then he gave me those sad eyes and told me about his situation. I bought it all and took him into my home.
Since I've been with him for the past 3 years and the cost of living has gone through the roof, I couldn't possibly afford to be out on my own again at this point. But, I've signed up to get help with housing and even though it is a waiting list of 2 years I don't feel a shred of guilt about using him while I can. I'm going to be the charming one... I'm going to save money so I can be prepared. It's payback time!
So I'm training my brain to override the depression that his emotional abuse has thrown me into in the past. I'm enjoying my time while he's gone. Soaking in the tub, snuggling up on the couch in my pjs and watching the movies that I like to watch... while he's slaving away at work. Ah yes it makes me feel GOOoOOOD!
He's made a huge mistake because he's lost me. His life is going to fall apart without me to take care of him. I loved that man so much. I was loyal and never betrayed him. I waited on him hand and foot.. cooking his meals and doing his laundry. I did nearly all of the chores here at home and payed my share of the bills too. But, this bullshit has gotten old. So I'll play the game that he has played with me this whole time. I'll lie. I'll cheat. I'll look him in the eyes and pretend to care. I'll use him, because he's nothing but a means in my little game. It's going to be a much better year ahead. I've become, to him, what he's been to me. A monster.
Now I sound like I'm speaking about a child. He's 50 years old. He has made his own choices.
I have to remember...what I love most about myself is that I'm not shallow. Appreciating the little things in life was always easy for me. Being thankful for the big things was always easy for me too. Things like a kind gesture from one person to another. A smile... I haven't smiled for a very long time. I love helping others, and being helped. Those type of things made my eyes all shiny and heart beat.
I haven't lost myself completely and
I'm very thankful for the people in DS.
And yes, dont get too bitter. good that you are wise to his charms. be careful
" I loved that man so much. I was loyal and never betrayed him. I waited on him hand and foot.. cooking his meals and doing his laundry. I did nearly all of the chores here at home" what you said here..i wait on him hand and foot as well, like a king and he doesn't respect me for it at all.
You will be free soon my love!
x
when I started feeling angry, it was a step up from feeling powerless.
I think that that anger can fuel us a long way, and give us the power to plan, to take back a little of what was taken away from us.
I'm still at the point where if I left, I'd let him have everything, just to try to 'make up' for me leaving.
I can't wait to be at a point where I say 'screw you. I'm taking everything I can, and more. and if you tell everyone I'm a bitch, well I don't really care.'
not yet there, but getting there.
Keep planning, keep learning, you'll make it. Wishing you all good things...