My situation is a little weird because we were not together, he was just living with me. I was financially supporting him, phone, food, EVERYTHING. He has PTSD with an alcohol dependency. I helped him to handle some legal issues because he wanted to change and turn his life around. I thought he really was changing and helping himself. He went and handled his problems, mostly on my dime, then when he came back he was going to stay with me till he could get into a facility for rehab from Drugs/Alcohol. When he was sober he would clean, cook, be sweet as pie. When he drank though I was called many horrible names, told I was nothing, told he didn't give a crap about me and neither did anyone else. I have a very supportive family that loves me and I spend a lot of time with. They didn't know until yesterday.

As I got my life together, finishing school and finally getting a job, I realized I didn't have time to babysit an alcoholic anymore. I wanted him out, but there was always an excuse.. He promised he wouldn't drink anymore, then just not vodka... then "you aren't my mom stop smothering me" I went out with my friends often and just left him there. OH yeah, NO job, NO money coming in, NO car... Things were going well for a while after he slapped me a couple months ago. He was out of his mind drunk that night and wasn't making sense.. I wish I had called the cops then, but I didn't because we had just fixed all his legal issues and I didn't want to be the one to ruin his life. I told him after that though that the treating me like crap and my having to be nervous to eat, breath, move around in MY OWN apartment had to stop. It did for a while too.. he was sweeter and would clean if he knew I was irritated. It didn't take much to set him off though.

After I got my job I went to a friends house one night... he texted asking for me to give him a ride home from the bar with his buddies... I said sure since things had been going well. His phone died before I got there so I went in. BAD IDEA!!! I happened to know one of the bartenders and so she started talking with me and catching up.. when we got in the car you would have thought I told her that he killed puppies as a child. HE WAS FURIOUS!!! screaming at me at the top of his lungs, while I'm driving that I am a jealous bitch and a c-block and everything else. I kicked him out of my car that night, then realized he had left said dead phone at the bar so I went back and got it and went looking for him so he wouldn't hurt himself. Found him and he still went off on my how I don't know anything and I'm dumb and a drain on society. Once he finally calmed down we went back home... where he wouldn't leave me alone and at one point grabbed my breasts after telling me how much he wanted to punch me in the face.

He went to his buddies for the weekend after that, said he would be out soon and he was so sorry for his actions. THE FIRST NIGHT HE CAME BACK IS WHEN THIS ALL ENDED. I got home from work and the apartment was trashed... and my laptop was broken. I'd had enough and tried to get him kicked out, but the police station said I had to evict him.... HE NEVER PAID FOR ANYTHING!!! He was drunk from the money he made while he was down with his buddy and started calling me a filthy whore, and that I smelled bad and everyone knows how dirty I am... then he was not making sense saying I had done something but I didn't understand him... I was getting nervous so I talked with an advocate of his and as I was texting that I wanted him out asap and he was standing over me he took my throat and started choking and telling me I never do this again... I have no idea what he was talking about and I doubt he does either. Before that he kept saying how he hopes I just die and that I should call the cops but once he hit me with a shovel I wouldn't be able to anymore. I called the cops and hid in my room till they came and arrested him. He called me the next day from jail begging me to bail him out, to loan money from someone to let him out. This did not happen.

I finally told my family yesterday and while they were not happy I hid this for so long they are supportive. I just don't understand how it took him CHOKING me and someone else telling me I had to call the cops on him that finally made me realize that being yelled at everyday and treated like crap isn't the proper behavior. I'm ashamed with myself for letting this go on for so long, and feel stupid for thinking he really wanted to change.

Plus now I'm worried what will happen when he gets out and all his stuff is out of my place and back at his moms, his phone is shut off and he has no where to live. This scares me.... there is a PPO right now if he were to make bail before his hearing but after that I might be on my own.. filing for one soon... just a little lost right now as to why I did this?