Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Perhaps it is because I never could get the " I miss you." that he dangled out there in my facebook messages, perhaps it is because of my incredible lonliness and depression, perhaps it is because I can't seem to find closure in my life and move on,...I am not sure why, but I didn't leave it at my strong reply of " I wish I could believe you." After seeing that he had viewed my message, never knew facebook did that before, just showed you that a person seen your message, so that even if they didn't reply, you know they got the message and what time, well, I decided I had to know how someone could suppossedly miss you and yet not make further attempts to contact you or explain themselves when you called them on thier behavior.
So yesterday I sent him this message.
"All I ever expected from you was honesty..why is that so hard? It's not for me. Even you said as much, I was always honest with you, good to you and after you hurt me, I forgave you, which you said was huge. I gave you yet another chance and you hurt me again. What did I ever do to you ? If you missed me, you would show me."
I had blocked him prior to this, got weak, unblocked him, noticed he changed his settings to where I could read his wall and he still has our conversations before I unfriended him on there. He has no new stuff, but he is not on facebook much.
I am not sure how long it will take for him to recieve this message as he is not on email or facebook often, or what his reaction will be when he does.Had I texted him this or called, I would possibly have gotten a quick reply, but again it has been the last of February since he stopped attempting to call/text me almost daily. I almost feel I should ready myself for a punishment of either silence from him or anger.
I guess it will depend on if he is seeing the on/off girlfriend or what he currently has going on his life and if how deeply his pride is injured.
Perhaps part of me, wants his wrath, as the silence is almost harder in some ways.
Not sure what advice I am asking for here, just feeling a weak and alone. Thanks to anyone who is reading this.
So yesterday I sent him this message.
"All I ever expected from you was honesty..why is that so hard? It's not for me. Even you said as much, I was always honest with you, good to you and after you hurt me, I forgave you, which you said was huge. I gave you yet another chance and you hurt me again. What did I ever do to you ? If you missed me, you would show me."
I had blocked him prior to this, got weak, unblocked him, noticed he changed his settings to where I could read his wall and he still has our conversations before I unfriended him on there. He has no new stuff, but he is not on facebook much.
I am not sure how long it will take for him to recieve this message as he is not on email or facebook often, or what his reaction will be when he does.Had I texted him this or called, I would possibly have gotten a quick reply, but again it has been the last of February since he stopped attempting to call/text me almost daily. I almost feel I should ready myself for a punishment of either silence from him or anger.
I guess it will depend on if he is seeing the on/off girlfriend or what he currently has going on his life and if how deeply his pride is injured.
Perhaps part of me, wants his wrath, as the silence is almost harder in some ways.
Not sure what advice I am asking for here, just feeling a weak and alone. Thanks to anyone who is reading this.
I know your down lately and I've been wondering how to help in some way.
What I do feel may help is to point out your cycles!
Everyone has cycles of some sort. Sometimes we don't see our cycle and when we don't its really hard to break away from them.
If the cycle we r in is causing pain then deep deep down, most want to break away from that painful cycle.
I feel you are self punishing. (I say this in the greatest respect) it seems as if you have contacted him because somewhere u do like yourself and believe u deserve the abuse!
Like u say that the silence is worse. The silence is non abuse! Your not being abused right now by him. Hes left u alone since February.
This is about how u feel about yourself.
Your relationship with yourself. This is part of the depression your going throu.
I don't believe that deep down u really want him back in your life at all. I think you just want to get a response so you can feel something, ANYTHING! That is familiar and that makes sense.
Abuse can do this to someone, it did to me. I didn't like myself much, wasn't happy and sometimes felt so angry with myself and annoyed at myself that I felt I deserved the abuse!
It's where the saying "vicious circle" comes from.
My advice (which I hope is helpful) is to work on the way u feel about yourself. Because right now your not treating yourself as if your worth it, but with self nurturing you can really truly feel it like u can feel the heat from the sun on your face (it's that real) that you are worth it!
When we r abused we usually have no power or control (we are tricked into believing this) and it becomes very real to us. So the only thing we "know" or have control over is understanding what to expect (sort of) and it becomes comforting in some way!
I pointed out about your cycles because I've been there myself when I was feeling low.
And now that he has seen your message u have two options, u either block him on tues(if he sends u a reply from now till then it would be best to delete without reading if u can) or u deactivate your account.
In fact u can block or deactivate your account on fb mobile app I am sure (u can on mine) so my advice is to block him.
He won't be able to reply.
I know the silence is like him having the power so why don't u get that power back by not allowing him to reply by blocking him. That way the ball is in your court.