Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My husband has a new best friend that I don't know about and didn't tell me about her. Now he is up talking to her and it is now 1:45 am. She stated that he can talk to her friend and he told her he is married and she don't care that he is married. He also said they should go to Las Vegas and Florida together. I am done with this marriage!!
In my relationship with my non-abusive husband we both have our own friends (him more than me he's more social) and some of these friendships are with the opposite sex, sometimes they are close friendships. But there are boundaries! I know all my ex's friends because he made sure to introduce me, and if I they are close friends, and they exist I know about them, and they know about me. And although some of these friends are exs, or people he's been close to long before me he is open and includes me in those relationships-just because I'm not present for every get together doesn't mean I don't know about it and feel comfortable with it first. Even within his close relationships he doesn't talk about things with his friends that he wouldn't talk to me about. If any of his relationships made me uncomfortable we'd try and talk that through to the two of our satisfaction (which has happened). THIS IS THE WAY THIS LOOKS IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.
Your husband is simply using "friendships" to make you insecure, worried, desperate to hold onto him, It makes him feel strong, masculine, powerful at your expense. Can he even feel those things without making you feel weak, and insecure and afraid? What is the value of a man who can't feel like a man unless he making someone else feel like crap?
You may have gotten used to a certain daily, underlying level of mental and emotional discomfort, and other times of utter terror, hopelessness or rage in this relationship that feel normal at this point-just wait until you get out and you're suddenly not feeling that everyday. You literally have no idea the difference in how you'll feel when you leave and start healing. Can you see it? Can you imagine it? It's waiting for after this relationship is over.