You are weak, manipulated and controlled but not stupid.

No one deserves this.

Food for thought... abuse comes in many forms. The abuser manipulates us into staying and believing we are the problem, we are not.

However another form of abuse is the abuse we inflict upon ourselves. You are also abusing yourself when you tell yourself you are stupid or you deserve this.

Stop abusing yourself snd you will begin to get stronger and gather the strength needed to leave the abuser.

I have chihuahuas, they are some of the sweetest dogs ever and too little to defend themselves from a human abuser. However my little guy (2 pounds) is my personal body guard and he may be tiny but thinks he is gigantic and would fight Goliath if he was threatening me.

It is only a matter of time before it is your jaw getting broke (or worse). If he will hurt a little dod, it will soon be you or the kids. I would get out, no more second chances.

is he really worth it, deep down ?

He sounds like a vile human being and if you can not leave him for your own sake because u believe u deserve this hell then at least see that your boys DO NOT deserve this.

You can not control the way others act, and giving him chances and loving him more or trusting him more or trying to be the perfect wife will never ever stop him from abusing you, your kids and your pets.

He i 100% responsible for his own actions and there is not one single human being on this planet that causes him to act the way he does other than himself.

No one deserves to be abused, let me tell u that every time u take an abuser back and give them a chance they will break that chance and each time that they do u get weaker and weaker because u end up regretting giving them a chance in the first place. And then u have to gather up extra courage and strength to break free again.

Ive just been talking to a friend of mine just monutes ago on the phone who is in an abusive relationship. I have been teeling her of my experience and for most of the phone call she was saying that its her as well and she can argue just as bad and its 50% her fault.

I told her that i used to feel this way, that i wanted once to even kill mtself because i felt so worthless. But i came to realise that i had to love myself more than i loved him. And when i loved myself, when i stopped putting myself down and started to see that he was wrong about me, that it was not me that was causing the drama, that i was infact a very caring and amazing girlfriend, it was then that i started to believe that i deserved better. After this i started on the road to gaining freedom and eventually i got there.

Life without him is absolutely AMAZING. The sun shines brighter, i love being a mother to my daughter even more. I smile when i wake up in the mornings and i have nice dreams at night and have a really good nights sleep as well.

I eat healthier, have more confidence and i know that i am just ablout the luckiest girl in the world right now because i am free....

If i can get to this place,,, you can too...the first step is to love yourself...so no more calling yourself stupid!

Hugs xxx

run.....now

teddybear, he is a very DANGEROUS abuser. Abusers do NOT change except to get worse.

You do NOT deserve to be treated this way! You aren't stupid either. Abusers make their sources feel stupid to keep control over them.

Please contact your abuse shelter immediately and get you and your kids & your pets out of there asap. They can help you get a restraining order as well as referrals to therapists & an attorney.

The shelter will also help you come up with a SAFE plan of action.

Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT tell your abuser or anyone else that you are contacting the shelter.

You deserve to live a fear-free life. You deserve to be loved and respected. And most of all you deserve to take good care of yourself. The best way to take good care of you is to get out. But have a safe plan first.

Staying only teaches your children that abusing and being abused is ok. If you can't or won't leave for you, do it anyway for your children.

Hugs!

What they said. Please, get out as soon as you can. Start planning (in secret) and get yourself and your family away from him. If he can do that to a defenceless dog, then what next? Please stay safe and take good care of yourself

Teddybear, you are not stupid and you DO NOT deserve this. This is just part of the damage they cause. We only want to believe & hope and love and they get us so twisted up we begin to believe exactly what they want us to. The more isolated you become the more in danger you are.

((((HUGS))))
T

You do not deserve this--neither did your chihuahua or your children!!!!!!!!

Call a DV shelter, and ask for help. It is hard for you to deal with this lunatic on your own! It would be hard for anyone!

Do we blame Ted Bundy's victims for not recognizing he was a serial killer--or his neighbors for thinking he was normal? No--but your abuser is dangerous and you need to take your kids to safety at a DV shelter, and get some counseling.

Do not tell your abuser. Do get counseling and talk to the police or the DV shelter--domestic violence shelter. You and your children deserve better (and your dog).

The dog had bad teeth and bone loss in his jaw. He has never hit me, restrained me but never hit me. He has stopped hitting the boys, probably because my oldest son is taller than he is. We live in my mother's duplex so it wouldnot be me moving out. I can not afford to take care of myself and my boys.

Good thing you live in your mother's duplex--lots of targets have had to leave with children to start on their own without any housing from family....and he definitely shouldn't be allowed to abuse your boys and you in your own mother's property (not that it makes it any worse).

He is the father, so he is required by law to help support the children whether or not he is living with you. I know it's scary to think of changes like that--but the law is on your side--it wants the best for you and your kids.

I've been a member of D/S for over five years. In that time, I have met many women such as yourself. You are not stupid! You need to get away from him for your sake and for the sake of your children. It is a known fact that young boys model their behavior after the adult males in their lives. Do you want your boys to think it's ok to beat a women?

he broke your LITTLE DOGS BONE, OR WHATEVER...HE WOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT IF THE DOG WAS A GERMAN SHEPARD, HE IS A COWARD...

YOU SAY YOU ARE STUPID, YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, I AM IN THE SAME BIND, BUT I AM LEAVING MY HUSB....

YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I KNOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND FOR 10 1/2 YEARS, AND IN ANOTHER 10 1/2 YEARS, IF I DON'T LEAVE HIM, HE WILL HAVE THE SAME GIRLFRIEND, AND I WOULD BE STUPID TO LET HIM TAKE ANOTHER 10 YEARS FROM MY LIFE.

HE BROKE YOUR DOGS JAW, COME ON, GET A GRIP ON THINGS, BETTER TO GO INTO A SHELTER, DON'T YOU LIKE YOUR DOG, DOES YOUR DOG DESERVE IT....YOU SAY, YOUR DOG DOESN'T HAVE GOOD TEETH, WHAT DOES THAT GOT TO DO WITH IT, YOU ARE JUST MAKING EXCUSES.

EXCUSE ME FOR BEING ANGRY, BUT IF YOU WANT TO GET
BEATEN UP, THATS UP TO YOU, BUT YOUR DOG? IF YOU LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT, YOU ARE ALSO AN ABUSER..

MEYERS

You never deserve this. I don't deserve this. NO ONE deserves this.

I'm trying to teach myself that.

Protect yourself and your children.
I also never believed my abuser would hit me...he did.

Go to this site: thehotline.org

It has all kinds of information for you and, if you decide to leave, a place to stay while the divorce gets sorted out.

((((hugs))))

@Meyers. That was just a little harsh. We all know how hard it is to leave our abusers...compassion goes a long way...

You are not weak, you are not stupid and you do not deserve any of this. Please be kind to yourself and only listen to people who support you and empower you. Realize that leaving an abuser is really hard and never easy but that you can do it!!!!