I know it's hard. But you CAN DO THIS! Change those words around and say them while looking at yourself in the mirror as if you were talking to a little lost girl.

I am really taking care of myself.
I see a beautiful caring loving woman.
I am a GOOD mother.
My daughter makes her own choices and they have NOTHING to do with me.
I DESERVE financial, mental, emotional and spiritual abundance.

Do this at least 10 times a day. And do it every time his words pop into your head.

~hugs~

Make that
I am taking really good care of myself.

Thank you.

sniff

Hugs. Are you in counselling?

He knows all your buttons, he knows just how to hit you where you feel the most vulnerable. My abuser did the same crap-they all do. What kind of scum bag takes an intimate knowledge of you and uses those things against you. What SHOULD happen with any decent human being is he should be building you up when you feel down about yourself, when you have things you feel insecure about, instead he is exploiting them to hurt you with. We all have insecurities, every single one of us. MTC's affirmations are awesome. Say them until you start to believe them. Look for the evidence of why these lies he says about you are BULLSHIT. Then don't counter the evidence, let it stand. The evidence against his lies is there.

I'm so sorry you had to hear those horrible lies. (((HUGS)))

A very kind person once told me that what an abuser says to you or about you is actually NO reflection on you, but it is a HUGE reflection on THEM.

They internally hate themselves so much that they spew it all out as abuse to others. There is nothing remotely acceptable about that. You simply don't deserve that treatment.

I've been on the receiving end of some stuff about as hateful as what he has said to you, and I know it can really get you down, although it's all lies... knowing it's not true doesn't always stop it hurting.

But, just keep counteracting his negativity with the great affirmations above, and know in your heart that he is 100% WRONG. We know it! :)

Hugs xxx

I feel slightly better this afternoon. I cried for five straight hours today. As each hour passed I could feel the healing.

I also heard him say these "new" things to me. In recent days, there has been "new" abuse. I do have a therapist and I can hear her saying "How can we heal from past abuse when you are freaking currently IN IT?"

I don't know yo. I don't know. She will look at me expectantly.......Shannon?

I get out of it.

Thank God for the sweet lady on here who introduced me to the term "Extreme Self Care" .I have been practicing self care for so long that it doesn't even look right anymore. But extreme self care.... whoa. New words. New ideas.

Ladies, I weep as I write this. I want him out of my life. I want the constant pain to stop. He may some day get off the drugs and alcohol and want to be a good man again. I have been hanging on to that for so long. Now, I want him GONE from me even it means letting go of that possibility.

The pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of change. I am ready to change. I need this to stop.

I'm sorry for the sadness and difficulty you're feeling and for the tapes running through your head. It's really, really hard and takes a lot of work but you can do it. I have them, too, and I tell myself "stop", sometimes out loud just to stop them. I try to replace any negative thought or negative phrase, sentence, comment that's in my head from him with something positive. It's exhausting, I know, but it's what we owe ourselves. Sending hugs

It literally took me hundreds of tries before I got where I am now which is absolutely almost nowhere! Not to discourage or anything - I am glad I am trying to break free again and I hope I am successful this time because i know I was miserable with him and don't know why I find it so hard to give it up. I guess we all go through it.
This guy is really verbally abusive telling you things like that and he did take what he knew made you vulnerable and used it with malice! It is so bad what they do. I hear things mine said too like "Puta" which means "slut" because I said I'm not going to be with you. He said it over and over and I keep seeing the words on my phone (in my head). These guys are ruthless! REally really ruthless.
Its so hard - I feel sorry for myself, I feel angry with myself, I feel sad, unhappy, and I hate it because I constantly am looking at my phone to see if he tried to contact me again. Email too.
Its terrible what they did to us and its its terrible what we have to go through to stop the cycle. I don't know why it has to be so hard to get out and stay out of an abusive relationship. I think the key is persistence and a resolve not to go back ever. I have to treat myself like a child and tell myself NO!

Sigh. You sound like me talking. Let's do this together. No contact. It is the only way to stay sane and get out of crazy town. When I go no contact he thinks I am being immature and selfish and childish. When I am emotional he says I am PMSing.

I want OUT.

NC 1 day, 3 hours, 11 minutes

I need this one to stick.

Yup, I heard all that when I tried Limited Contact (if I'd gone No Contact I wouldn't have read emails, texts, or vms that called me the exact same things), childish, immature, selfish, oh, I got cold hearted bitch too, and cruel, I got that one a lot. Who needs it, right ladies?

You guys can do this, you can-you fall off the horse you just get back on! I been through it, so I know that now it seems like endless pain but someday this pain will be a distant memory of a crappy time that helps you appreciate exactly how much better life is w/o abuse!

I have hope that this time is the last time and I am going to kick this thing. Thank you all again for the supportive words. I read them repeatedly. I feel like my very soul depends on getting this man out of my life.

Cold hearted bitch? Yeah, mine likes to say I am a dirty whore. (Because I take his money - steal from him) It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Even when I know it is coming and I know where it comes from... it still hurts. That is his deepest wish - to hurt me. Hard to comprehend and reconcile in my mind.

My timer started over again yesterday But that is okay because I know now it wasn't failure. It was part of the process and this time will be better...

1 day, 4 hours, 53 minutes.